Word to the wise...if you have a lover you don't trust, leave his scandelous, no good ass alone. I'm starting to follow my own advice.
I'm a novice computer geek and decided to get creative with my lover's email account. I clicked on some junk, answered a coupla questions and voila, instant access to anything I want to know about his cyber life. Anything. Of course you're thinking, "~SunRay~, why can't you just ask him?~ Sure I could do that. I have done that. But you know....have you ever gotten the feeling that something just wan't quite right, misaligned, out of wack? Yeah I got that feeling so I decided to investigate.
Now my investigation didn't come up with nothing concrete, unfortunately. His attept at getting sex from someone (as recent as may), reaching out to old lovers and even tellin his baby momma that he loved her. This was definitely enough to make me wanna fuckin hurl. But I've put myself in a shitty sichashen.
1. I can't prove he actually followed through on anything, and
While Shitty Sichashen no.2 may carry some kinda illegal blah blah, what I'm trynna figure out is how to tell his ass without letting him know I put on my geek cap and invaded his privacy to find out shit I knew he wasn't telling me. From the looks of his inbox (sent messeges, trash and the like) he's kept his nose clean since May. What about a relapse? He tried to talk to me today. I tried to act normal but I wasn't feeling it.
Sometimes I think about how much easier life would be if I'd just go back to my daughter's dad. He ain't much to look at and lacks ambition, but damn we had a lot of fun. And he treated me good. And he liked being a dad then. So much for coulda, woulda and shoulda. I wonder if I was wrong for giving him the boot.
Random Thought of the Day:
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