Lawd, lawd, lawd. I'm so tired of being fat. I've always been a chubby kid. After my dad died I turned into a fat kid. Then, after a series of bad relationships gone worse, I turned into a fat adult.
I gotta kick this food habit. Food is so much more reliable than a man. I go to the store, buy whatever I like and know it's going to be there until I know I ate the last one. I can throw out the parts, keep the goodies and no one cares.
Last year I did the personal trainer thing. Fun, yes. Expensive, yes. Worth it, yes. I can't wait to go back to her. When I first started, I wasn't sure what to expect, but I really enjoyed it. It helped me mentally as well as physically. I never understood the gym rats, but I feel so refreshed after 1 billion crunches and squats.
I really hate the fact that I can only shop at one store (Lane Bryant) that doesn't offer everything I'm looking for. I'm gonna scream if I see another halter top in a size 28.
So, as we speak, I'm in the process of a lifestyle change. After years of eating whatever...I'm considering going vegetarian. I'm so afraid of my heart giving out. I'm gonna jump in with both feet and do it! Say a few Hail Mary's for me ya'll
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