Xmas has become such a commerical holiday, more so than all them other ones Macy's, Nordies and Hect's want us to buy stuff for. Each year that goes by, I become increasingly disenchanted with the obsessive marketing that begins in August to encourage us consumers to open our wallets and buy things we can't afford for people we typically don't like. But I do have a fond memory of kindness. Of course it didn't come from family. Thanks to nOva and his Elf movie buddy icon for throwing me into this holiday before I was mentally prepared for it.

A combination of things started me thinking about Xmas. It actually started when I began to think of my daily interactions with my family and certain people in my life. Most of them are takers and have very little to offer, or any desire to offer, any thing in return. Reciprocity is unheard of. Not to say that you should help someone just because you want them to help you later, which is never guaranteed, but it gets quite old when the same people keep coming back. That's more like using, not helpin a bruvah out.

Anyhoo, I started thinking about how much I give and how little I normally receive. If someone calls me and needs help, typically I'll oblige if their request is within my means. Just recently I'd been burned, by my own folks no less. I needed help and every one had "something else to do". That's aiite though.

December 2000. I'll never forget that Xmas. I was 20 years old working another dinky job in a mall. I made 700 bucks a month. Yep folks, 700 whopping bucks a month. It's definitely impossible to take care of 3 people on this amount and my son still being in diapers wasn't a help. It's Xmas time and I was broke. Didn't have nothing. My co-workers all chipped in and bought stuff for the kids. My manager and her mom also went out and bought stuff for them. They also bought a few small gifts for me. The daycare center my kids were going to at the time, well they were going there until I cussed the director out, but that's another story for another day. She called me and told me there was a delivery for the kids from the Salvation Army's Angle Tree Program. I was too out done. There was so much stuffed packed into those garbage bags to the point they were almost ready to burst. That was a long bus ride home.

I was so overwhelmed with this giving. Unconditonal, unsolicited giving. There's nothing like it. I'd never experienced such kindness before, especially from people I hadn't known for very long. I'd never even met my manager's mother. I was moved to tears but I'm to callous to cry.

Someone was watching over me that Xmas. I'll continue to watch over others. (Even if they flaky and shady)

28.October.2003    08:40 PM     Commments: 1

1 comment(s) » add yours

You wanna know what I got for Xmas last year?

I got one gift from one friend.

A candle.

The assessment:

FUCK XMAS and I need new friends.....

posted by nOva from Cali | 10.29.03 12:17 AM


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