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Laid-out by nOva
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They Ain't Shit 01.24.04
11:13 AM • 5 comment(s)permalink

This is Part II in an never ending series that is my job search.

I saw an ad on for an Executive Assistant so I went for it. Sent my cover letter and resume and received a prompt response. I then had to fill out an online survey which basically restated what was on my resume.

I had an interview for this position a week ago and it went well. I took a problem solving skills analysis and was grilled for about an hour on my work ethic. They wanted examples, times and dates where I took initiative and followed through on commitments. They wanted to know my stregths and weaknesses. A whole gang of shit for....NOTHING. I knew something shady was going on when she called me on the eve of my second round interview, after business hours I might ad, to tell me they would need to reschedule cause Mr. So n' So had some unexpected travel. Ummm...yeah. I called to reschedule, left a message and she still didn't call me back and I didn't speak with her until yesterday, when I called her again. I put forth all this effort just for her to tell me..."We don't have funding for the position." I wonder what position they do have funding for and what young white girl will fill the position. I'm leary of places that are devoid of minorities of any kind.

I gotta come up on a new gig and like quick. These cut off notices are rolling in and all I can do is look at em. I'm trynna head off the cable company from cutting my shit off, sooooooo I'mma switch cable companies before they can get to me. :-D They need to step up they game when they messin with ~SunRay~. It's somthing I needed to do anyway, since Starpower is offering a better package than Comcast. I can get innanet access, cable tv and phone service for 96 bucks a month. I say not a bad deal, since my phone bill and cable bill combined are about 130 anyway.

I'm so glad Furry got in trouble with Big Boss. He always think his shit don't stink. She's so pissed about having to micromanage him and she believes he's capable of more. I'm glad she's finally seeing through his bullshit. He didn't even set up for a big meeting we're having on Monday, completely taking her to the highest level of pissivity. Of course, looking at her innocently, I tell her I'll set the room up, but she declines my offer. I knew she would, that's why I asked. LMAO. Having me do set up would make her chew his ass even more, since I've already been given part of his job over the summer and he was pissed about it. Either way, his getting in trouble always makes me smile.

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Frenz 01.12.04
08:50 PM • 8 comment(s)1 trackback(s)permalink

"Leaves bathroom, enters livingroom, plops on couch."

EvilAsianX: I thought you said you didn't shave.
ME: I don't shave my arms and legs...don't need to.
EvilAsianX: I saw a razor in the bathroom. What you shave then?
ME: I got other parts to shave
EvilAsianX: Oh, so you tend the garden?

Does it really matter what part I shave? As long as you know it ain't my arms and legs, why worry about it? (I made her sniff my armpit)

EvilAsianX is as wacky and abnormal as they come. She drops by on Sunday, unannounced of course, with a bag of...stuff. Her peoples own a deli and she hooks me up with the leftovers. We sure can use them since I'm running on a definitive "E" over hear. I'm glad she thinks enough of me to drive over here on her double suspended license to bring me muffins juice and other edibles. That's a frend.

She's one determined chick. I bought the kids bikes for Crimmus and she noticed they were still in the box. She offers to put them together. I, on the other hand, was hoping they'd magically assemble themselves, cause that assembly required can suck my nutsack. She put these bikes together with a pair of needle nose pliers and a screwdriver. I haven't seen such talent displayed since a cracked hooked up my cable with a steak knife.

The EX Factor

If onna my exes calls me again, Imma SSSSSCRRRRRREAAAAAAM!!!!!
There is a good reason why I don't call you. Take the hint and take a hike.
I ran into a one nite stand over the weekend. Check this:

Mofo: I ain't seen you since that time
ME: Yeah I know.
Mofo: When imma see you again?
ME: There's no reason for you to see me again.
Mofo: Evar?
ME: Evar.
Mofo: Was it that bad?
ME: I'm not interested
Mofo: If I told you I wanted to see you right now, could I?
ME: Uuuumm....NO.

My skeletal closet must be at capacity for these mofos to keep coming back like this. This will be the 3rd one to reappear, all within the span of one month. WTF? Next time I do durt, Imma burn the skeleton bone so it can't come back. Good idea?

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There's Hope? 01.11.04
07:15 PM • 5 comment(s)permalink

Lately, I've been sending my resume to damn near everybody with an opening. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but I am actively seeking a new gig. My salary is the welfare check of the Administrative Support field.

I'm so excited I got an interview on Wednesday with a decent company. Actually, I got called in to take some tests (which I know will be dumb), then if i pass the tests, I get called in for an interview with the Pres and COO. I'd be the Executive Assistant for both of these dudes. The application process was fairly demanding. They wanted my resume, with salary requirements and references. Then they sent an email with a link for a survey for me to fill out. What the hell do they need all this for? I gotta jump through so many hoops but their response was timely so I won't complain too much. The location is great, near Rosslyn which makes my daily commute much sorter and cheaper.

One of the tests I have to take is a "culteral fit" test. Maybe I should write "I Hate KrakkaAssKrakkas" all over it and see how that goes off. Who'se gonna admit to not liking or being partial to another race when applying for a job? Or could they be referring to corporate culture, which every one knows is full of beauracratic bullshit.

There was supposed to be a "Mega" employment section in today's paper. Mega my ass. All they did was rerun the ads of the entire week. How misleading. I was expecting some big shit since the "Mega" employment section from The Washington Post is usually good. Unh uh. I guess I can blame it on the job market. Out of 30 admin jobs, I only found 6 that really interested me and aren't too far from home.

Somehow, I gotta break it to my boss that I'm ready to leave. She's gonna be on the ceiling. The job is boring as hell but it's cake. I come in when I want, take a 3 hour lunch then go home. I can't pay all my bills and that's becoming an issue. I think my credit card companies have me on a "Most Hated List"

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I Layeth the Smack Down 01.04.04
03:05 PM • 11 comment(s)permalink

As I type this, assult charges will prolly be filed against me.

I hate hoodrats as much as I hate the first of the month. Being that the welfare queens are out in droves to spend my tax dollars. All I can say is, she jumped out there and got what she was looking for.

I'm stading in line at the grocery store minding my own business, waiting for these welfare queens to make up their cheap ass minds on what they gonna buy. Of course they wait till they get to the cashier to do this. I'm minding, resting my foot on my cart. All of a sudden I hear, "You need to raise up and stop bupping her with that cart." I look at her like "what" cause I know she wasn't talkin to me like that. "I mean dag you must be hongry" I had to look twice. I finally had to ask Welfare Queen 1 who she was talking to. Next thing I know, she layin on the ground next to my cart with my foot in her mouth. Welfare Queen 2 decides she wants to jump on my back. Not a good idea and she becomes friends with the vending machine real quick like. The security guard called in back up and they carted all of our asses to some office that smelled like raw meat.

To make an excessivly long story short, they got our info, made sure we went in opposite directions and all that.

The moral of this story is: Don't fuck with a person that hasn't had carbs in a month.

•   •   • 01.01.04
04:37 PM • 3 comment(s)permalink

Can you believe they said this shit bout me?

How come I don't feel like a genious?

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