"Leaves bathroom, enters livingroom, plops on couch."
EvilAsianX: I thought you said you didn't shave.
ME: I don't shave my arms and legs...don't need to.
EvilAsianX: I saw a razor in the bathroom. What you shave then?
ME: I got other parts to shave
EvilAsianX: Oh, so you tend the garden?
Does it really matter what part I shave? As long as you know it ain't my arms and legs, why worry about it? (I made her sniff my armpit)
EvilAsianX is as wacky and abnormal as they come. She drops by on Sunday, unannounced of course, with a bag of...stuff. Her peoples own a deli and she hooks me up with the leftovers. We sure can use them since I'm running on a definitive "E" over hear. I'm glad she thinks enough of me to drive over here on her double suspended license to bring me muffins juice and other edibles. That's a frend.
She's one determined chick. I bought the kids bikes for Crimmus and she noticed they were still in the box. She offers to put them together. I, on the other hand, was hoping they'd magically assemble themselves, cause that assembly required can suck my nutsack. She put these bikes together with a pair of needle nose pliers and a screwdriver. I haven't seen such talent displayed since a cracked hooked up my cable with a steak knife.
The EX Factor
If onna my exes calls me again, Imma SSSSSCRRRRRREAAAAAAM!!!!!
There is a good reason why I don't call you. Take the hint and take a hike.
I ran into a one nite stand over the weekend. Check this:
Mofo: I ain't seen you since that time
ME: Yeah I know.
Mofo: When imma see you again?
ME: There's no reason for you to see me again.
Mofo: Was it that bad?
ME: I'm not interested
Mofo: If I told you I wanted to see you right now, could I?
My skeletal closet must be at capacity for these mofos to keep coming back like this. This will be the 3rd one to reappear, all within the span of one month. WTF? Next time I do durt, Imma burn the skeleton bone so it can't come back. Good idea?