In my haste to go watch porn, I forgot to provide and ending to my story. Sorry folks! Ending below.[/edit]
Because ~SunRay~ is such a trend setter, all of my friends are looking to buy houses and they turn to me for advice (like I know shit). The fabulous RMiller, the bestest guy in the whole world wanted my opinion on a townhouse he's considering buying.
I haven't seen RMiller for a while and was very happy to see him, and even happier to find out he's decided he wants to buy a house. I'm so proud of the man he's become: honor student, graduate of Bowie State University with a degree in computer science...honest, smart, handsome (NO KIDS)...all the things a woman would want. Enough of my gushing.
Anyhoo, we get lost trying to find this house in Upper Marlboro, MD which isn't unusual cause me and RMiller always get lost.
We finally find the correct street. We are passing huge, HUGE houses that look like something I could never afford. We arrive at the house he wants me to see and...the light is on. Seeing the light on made me not want to go in cause you can never tell who or what is inside of a vacant house. I check things out. As I'm wandering around the living room I here something beeping. I say, "RMiller, is there an alarm on this house at nite?" He's like, "Aaaaah don't worry about that." Um...K. We had a key to get inside, but hell, we don't own that property and really shouldn't be there. I wanna go home but I came that far and there was no turning back.
He took me on a tour and the house is very nice. The only minor issue is the unfinished basement, which can be taken care of fairly easily. The house does have some design flaws such as no dining room and a random usage of doors in the bathroom. There's the entrance to the bathroom from the hall. Once you're inside that entrance, there's another door that actually leads to the bathroom and another door that leads to the master bedroom from the bathroom. Count em folks: that's 3 doors for one tiny ass room. How much sense does that make?
As I'm wandering around this house, I realize that beeping sound hasn't gone away. As we are ready to leave, RMiller notices there is a car outside watching the house. I'm like "OH SHIT!" My mind is racing cause who ever is watching the house would still be able to see us if went went through another exit. While we're peering out the window Malcom X style, a damn cop car shows up. So here I am, in the middle of nowhere, MD, stuck inside of a house I'm not supposed to be in. I had no idea where to turn or where to go. We didn't even breathe. The cop car came closer to the house. So close it seemed the lights from the squad car were on the porch. I'm praying to any God that would listen to me. There is no way in hell I can call my mom and explain to her that I've been arrested for tresspassing or something crazy like that.
The random nosey neighbor drives off. The cop lingers for a bit then leaves too. We return the place to it's natural state and got the fuck up out of there. That wasn't as easy as it sounds being that there was ice every frikkin where on the steps and made loud crunching sounds. We manage to get to his car without falling, but damn if it didn't get stuck on the ice. This crazy tombout go push. Yah. Right. I coulda been so arrested. We left and didnt look back.
I hope he buys that one! :-P
Next time RMiller suggests we do something I know we shouldn't, Imma haul ass!