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Ghetto Girl on Tha Grind 04.29.04
10:32 PM • 4 comment(s)permalink

Man, man, man. Tonite was my first nite at Yankee Candle Company. A susta is tired. I had to sit through 3 boring ass videos. What were they about? I couldn't begin to tell you. They were hilariously low budget too. Closet Queen is gonna be the fun manager, I can tell. Lewd jokes, slacker...yeah Imma like this dude. I couldn't even focus on the videos cause he was crackin too many jokes. He referred to the owner, the one who was on the video explaining how candles are made, as a Dumb Krakka Bitch. I was liken to diiiiiiie. Now, Wound Tight, the store manager could use some work. She's a bit high strung about some things but I guess that comes with the territory. My pay sucks, but I was expecting that. At least I'm gettin my hustle up.

Today I found out Baby Daddy 1 quit his job. How did I find out? I called the child support office to ask when them bitches was gonna send my check for the end of April. Come to find out, there wasn't no check for me cause this nigga decided to quit his job. I don't know what the fuck Imma do now. I was depending on that money to get my daughter a nice present for her birthday which isn't far off. He hasn't seen her in a year and a half. He never calls her. The least he can do is support her. But that's too much like right. I'm sick of working sun up to sun down, litterally, just to make ends meet. I'm sick of how this society has become complacent to the fact that these men aren't going to take care of this kids and aren't penalized enough for it.

•   •   •
International Retard's Day 04.28.04
07:40 PM • 7 comment(s)permalink

[edit] I am not a lesbian. [/edit]

Today is the international day for the mentally disabled. Please send an encouraging message to a mentally retarded friend as I have just done. Hang in there you are doing great. You are special. Keep trying. Have a great day!

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Disappointed 04.26.04
04:46 PM • 7 comment(s)permalink

On Friday I went to my daughter's school to watch her double dutch performance. When I showed up, I had no idea what to expect. I arrive at the small auditorium to be greeted with an agenda shoved in my hand. I glanced through the document to see when my precious baby would be performing. She was the next to last performance. Damn. I had to sit through 45 minutes of extra junk I wasn't interested in. So I thought.

"SAT 9, SAT 9, SAT 9" was the chant. I couldn't figure out how or why these lil black people were stomping and yelling about this SAT 9. Somewhere inbetween the cheerleaders and dance troupe, I realized what was happening. This was actually a pep rally to get these kids excited about taking the SAT 9, the yearly standardized test given in the local school districts. I was disgusted. It pissed me off once realization set in that I'd been preparing my daughter for the past 7 months to take a fucking test. This assembly, this pep rally was a showcase of knowledge of lil black kids for the powers that be. It made me sick. I can't wait for the day where I can remove my kids from the detoriorating public school system. My kids have become bored with this strictly text book style of education. They don't even have an art or language class and social studies is a random event. In the public education system, inner city childern are stunted before they are given the chance to grow.

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Meme Fo' That Ass! 04.22.04
08:40 AM • 7 comment(s)3 trackback(s)permalink

I got it from this dude who got it from this chick.

Choose a band and answer only in song titles by that band: Lil' Kim
(Ya'll thought I was gonna choose eminem, didn'tcha?)

Are you male or female: I'm Human
How old are you: Who's Number One?
Describe yourself: Custom Made (Give It To You)
How do some people feel about you: Off Tha Wall
How do you feel about yourself: Queen B----)
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Suck My Dick
Describe your views on significant others and crushes: Came Back for You
Describe what you want: Doing It Way Big
Describe how you live: Scheamin'
Describe how you love: Thug Love
Share a few words of wisdom: Spend a Little Doe

(I'm a closet Kim fan, so what?)

Memin' It With King Sexy
Ask me three quesions about anything and I'll answer them joints. For real. Answers will posted in the comments section.

•   •   •
We're In Tha Money! 04.21.04
08:38 PM • 2 comment(s)permalink

The Rich White Lady just called me a few minutes ago and told me he got 2 interviews tomorrow to the places we just faxed his resume to yesterday! I'm so excited. Yay!

Today I got a call back for a part-time position I applied for on Sunday at Yankee Candle Company. Looks like I'll be the lone negro if I get hired. Frankly, I don't care how many pinks are involved as long as I get P A I D. A susta is desperately hurtin ova here. I have way more expenses than income and that's becoming a gigundo problemo.

Yesterday I got ANOTHER call for a full-time job I applied to. I have no idea how well I did. I had to take a personality test online. If I "pass" that personality test, I get to take another one with a real live human over the phone. If I "pass" that test, I'll be granted an interview will a real live human. This job better be worth it. At least the pay is in the range I'm looking for and it's much closer to home. I really need to get out of the place I'm at. Today the Tech Guy came up to me and said:

Him: How's everything going up here?
Me: Fine
Him: You don't look fine, you look upset. What's wrong?
Me: I'm just tired.

Tired of this fucking job, that is. Every morning I wake up to go to work, I'd rather slit my wrists than walk through those doors. Unnerstan now?

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I've been very Blessed lately and I know something's gonna come through soon.

•   •   •
Blessed 04.20.04
03:27 PM • 0 comment(s)permalink

I'd like to give a shout out to the bloggers that offered good feed back for this post I'll be posting my progress on this paper so stay tuned. For those of you whose brains were too limp to participte, I'll be pinging you again, k?

During this post I was one mad ~SunRay~. Had a long day, being mistreated by ole massa...the list is too long to type and I'd rather not aggravate my Carpel Tunnel anymore than necessary.

Last Friday, on my way home from work, I played with a WhiteTrashBaby and gave her my crackers. In turn, when a friend and former boss came into work this morning she had a suprise for me. Susta Doin' Thangs went to Giant and got me a gift card worth $50! How righteous is that?!? She is the bomb and some junk for feeling my pain. I'm not a very religous person but I do believe God is always on my side. I know this happened because I didn't allow my heart to harden and not allow myself to recognize the need of that child who was clearly hungry. I will not allow someone to crush the humanitarian in me.

I've tried to explain to my sisters why nothing good happens to them. The older two anyway. Sanctimonious, self serving behavior only brings grief and despair in the long run.

•   •   •
Humanitarianism (Or Something) 04.16.04
07:15 PM • 3 comment(s)permalink

Earlier today, when I was mad at the white racist crakkas that refuse to hire me based on my ethicity, I began to think about my own views toward different races. Maybe I'm racist too.

I don't see that happening. No matter how one person from a particular race treats me, I can't bring myself to hate an entire race. Today on my way home from work, I saw a WhiteTrashMom with a WhiteTrashBaby. This pair had all the signs of being poor: scruffy clothes, unkempt hair and over all just a bit grungy. WhiteTrashBaby was one of the sweetest things I've seen all week. She was barely knee high with a head full of (soft looking) curly hair. She broke away from her mom and ran right over to my lap. She looked at me and smiled. (insert mushy moment here) Her mother began to apologize profusely, concerned about disturbing me. No nevermind; she's just a baby. I felt bad for her. They both looked pretty hungry. I asked WhiteTrashMom if it was okay to give the baby some crackers. Her eyes lit up so brightly. She was genuinely appreciative. I took the crackers (from work) out of my bag and gave them to WhiteTrashBaby and she was right with the world again.

I feel good about being who I am. Never again will I allow one jenky bastard to cloud my judgement of anyone else.

•   •   •
Calling All Bloggers 04.11.04
11:24 PM • 4 comment(s)permalink

The Spring Quarter at Strayer University started for me about two weeks ago, so I'm back on the grind as a student. This one English class, the ONE class I really need to stop fucking around in, requires me to write an argument paper...again. I'm attempting to formulate a topic and need some feedback from you guys.

I want to argue about male/female black relationships.

Lately, in conversations about having children, I've noticed many black men express the feelings of not wanting to have children, especially by women they don't love, but are going to make the best of an unfavorable situation. Some of these men harbor negative feelings toward the mother because she chose not to have an abortion.

Here's my beef: It makes no sense to me, none whatsoever, to give yourself the opportunity to create any "unfavorable" situations for yourself. The excuse of being young just doesn't cut it with me. When we come of age, there are certain things we should know, one of them being the consequenses of making babies. Youth and ignorance was a recurring theme in many of these conversations which is being used as a cruch to shuck the never ending reality that is being responsible for your actions.

I'm not sure how to develop a logical argument out of that, or even if I can. It's something that's been irritating me for the longest time and I feel it should be addressed. I'm also looking for any books or articules which discuss black relationships. I need sources to support the argument.

•   •   •
Lunch Date 04.09.04
07:49 PM • 4 comment(s)permalink

Last week I told my trainer, Elmo, I wouldn't be coming in this week cause I can't pay for it. In my disappointment, I went to HR Lady cause she listens to everything. In turn, she recruits her husband, Muscle Man, a real live body builder to be my trainer. Come to find out MM told Elmo everything I told his wife, HR Lady, and that made Elmo feel baaad, which in turn, made me feel baaaaad. I really thought they would give me the chance to talk to Elmo myself before they said anything.

We had a long talk today about what we expect from each other and what we need and agree to be open. He's really a sweet guy. Interaction with him can be a bit bizarre, cause he and I are very similar. We don't say much, but think all the time. I'm usually one step ahead of the average cat, but I gotta work twice as hard to stay ahead of this dude. He's good. He has a logical rebuttal for everything I say. That's never happened to me before. I guess I've met my match.

We went to lunch today. Interesting experience. I wasn't expecting him to pay, but it was his treat. YAY! There's no meal like a free meal. I'm sure he wanted to see what I was eating. He made sure I didn't go near anything I shouldn't have. "Here. Don't eat that, or that, or that....."

Some how sex became a conversation topic. Oh yes, I remember how it started. I told him I wasn't trynna get involved with anyone cause I haven't met anyone that has yet to impress me. Then he says, "Well...you need to release. If you release more, you won't be as tempted to replace it with something else that makes you feel good, like food." HUH?? I can't belive dude just told me to have more sex! I LMAO! Just cause I'm not involved don't mean I don't get my rocks off! BWAHAHAHA!! Lak, dude, I'm really not that square. So my response was, "I'm...released." He gave me this crazy look. "What?" "So what are you saying?", he wants to know. "I have sex regularly!" Um...I said that a bit louder than I wanted to, and I'm sure the guy sitting behind us really wanted to know that bit of info. (SLMAO). What.A.Mess.

He also informs me that my "vacation" from working out (I haven't gone this week) is over and I WILL show up to the gym three days next week. A girl just doesn't get any options, huh? I was also informed that it's NEVER okay to interrupt my training program. Then, I was accused of cheating on him with another trainer. Ain't that sumthin?

At the end of lunch, we walk back to the metro. He wants to know where I'm going, what I'm doing for the weekend...blah blah. We didn't have much convo, I only had one stop to go and he had a few. Before I got off the train, I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told him how sweet he was. Translation: I need to get laid so move a little faster, bruh.

But um...I think he's gay. *Sigh* Another one.

[edit] I gotta stop bringing all the gay boys to my yard [/edit]

•   •   •
No Longer a Secret...... 04.08.04
12:58 PM • 11 comment(s)1 trackback(s)permalink

...well at least not for This Guy. My stomach dropped when he IMed me this morning. "Sup Sun Ray." I'm thinkin to myself....awwww chit he knows. He's grabbed his copy of Homoskexshul Code of Conduct and he's gonna tell me he has the right to remain homo. This convo turned out much, MUCH better than expected.

Crush: Sup SunRay
SunRay sup my bruva
Crush lol, so u over that gay boy
SunRay: i'm tryin
SunRay: i like him though
SunRay: damn gay dude
Crush: whom could that be...
SunRay: umm....
SunRay: you
SunRay: feel free to not be silent at any time
SunRay: k, thanks
Crush: i'm sorry
Crush: my boss was yacking
Crush: it was me?
Crush: u fuckin w. me
SunRay: no i'm not
SunRay: it is you
Crush: i thought it was Karsh
SunRay: D E A D
Crush: thanks, I am flattered
SunRay: i'm embarrassed
Crush: but u have never seen me... I could be a monster
SunRay: tru dat
Crush: don't be embarassed
SunRay: but i like your spirit
SunRay: your style
SunRay: and if you hanging with homeboy, there's no way you could be a monster
Crush: thanks, I like yours too
Crush: lol, true that
SunRay: aw...thanks
Crush: well, i am very flattered... I had no idea
Crush: lol
Crush: well, i think I come off as crazy on my site, so I was like she can't be talking about me
SunRay: lmaooooooo
SunRay: um...you've read my site, right?
Crush: i am beyond flattered
Crush: u a ballsy girl... i can tell by how u approached that guy on the metro
SunRay: *dead*

Yeah, I'm a ballsy girl for wanting a man I can't have. hmph. Gossip among yourselves.

•   •   •
Queen Sexy Representin' 04.07.04
05:00 PM • 7 comment(s)permalink

Because I don't want to think about This Guy anymore, I'm on the prowl for a guy of a more, um, UNGAY variety.

I was on my way to work this morning, late of course, which in my world is on time. I'm not sure how long I was in my commute when he stepped on the train, but he sure wasn't hard to miss. He was tall, about 6' 2" or so, medium complexion with broad shoulders. Can we say "YUM"? We played peek-a-boo for a while. He'd look at me then look away when I caught him looking. It was cute. This little game lasted the duration of my commute. He got off at my stop. I followed a few steps behind him to the elevator. I went over to him and said, "You are so sexy. Watching you made my morning." Before he could replay, I gave him my Million Dollar Dimpled Smile and rolled out, just as quickly as I had approached him. His calls of, "Hey, wait up!" went ignored.

Damn that was fun!

•   •   •
Questions and Stuff 04.06.04
08:51 PM • 0 comment(s)2 trackback(s)permalink

I copped this joint from this dude cause I'm occasionally on his nuttsizzack like that sometimes and I know ya'll can't resist reading useless info about me. Without further ado....

1. Your name spelled backwards. ~YarNus~.
2. Where were your parents born? DC and NC.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Black Bike week.
4. What's your favorite restaurant? Uno's.
5. Last time you swam in a pool? Summer '87.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? 3rd grade.
7. How many kids do you want? I already have 2. I ain't have no mo'.
8. Type of music you dislike most? These days, hip-hop.
9. Are you registered to vote? Shole is.
10. Do you have cable? I'd perish without it.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Hayle nawl.
12. Ever prank call anybody? Who says I stopped?
13. Ever get a parking ticket? Nope.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Why the fuck would I wanna do some crazy ass shit like that? Ya'll sick.
15. Furthest place you ever traveled? California.
16. Do you have a garden? Nope
17. What's your favorite comic strip? Comics are dumb.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Hayle nawl. That shit don't even sound good, no matter who singin it.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower in the morning.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? I don't think I've watched TV this month.
21. Favorite pizza topping? Sausage.
22. Chips or popcorn? Chips.
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? Queen Sexy doesn't need lipstick.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? Hayle to the nawl! Again, ya'll some crazy bastids! I ain't smokin that shit, mang!
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? I'm too sexy for beauty pagents.
26. Orange Juice or apple? Orange, whoadie.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? My kids, Panda Express.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar? Snickers.
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? During that DC primary presidential doo dad.
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I'd rake my eyes out before I'd eat a tomato.
31. Have you ever won a trophy? Nope.
32. Are you a good cook? I do my thizzle in the kizzle nizzles.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? The Sexy People don't pump their own gas. Hustle man does that.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? Infomercials are dumb.
35. Sprite or 7-up? Sprite.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yup, When I worked at DC Magnets and Build-A-Bear Workshop.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Panty liners and chewing gum.
38. Ever throw up in public? YUP.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Why should I have to choose?
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number? Yup.
42. Can exes be friends? I'm friends with one of my exes. The rest suck.
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My sister after she gave birth to my niece 5 years ago.
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Nope.
45. What message is on your answering machine? "Hi, you've ~SunRay~, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you." When I feel like it.
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? That chick that playes the cheerleader.
47. What was the name of your first pet? JP.
48. What is in your purse? Bath and Body Works Mango Mandarin lotion, child support stub and cds.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Change the batteries in my vibrator.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? This dude always pops up when i need him.

•   •   •
Sit Down and Shut UP 04.06.04
11:45 AM • 3 comment(s)permalink

Lawd Jeebus somebody puhleeze give me the strength to not smack the ever lovin shit out of Boss Lady's Husband today. I'm not in a place mentally or emotionally to deal with his pushy demanding ass today. It just ain't working. Have any of you ever beat the shit out of a really big white man? If he keeps it up, he'll give me another reason to blog, sho' nuf. I'm bout half a milisecond from straight walkin up out this bitch today. I went from having a not very good day to having his big ass take a hot frothing shit all over what I was trying to make out of this once glorious Tuesday. At this point I'd rather sit at home get welfare and food stamps and drink 40s all day. Word to your mother.

[edit] The Rich White Lady That Drinks 40s While Booty Poppin On A Handstand just dropped by to have a quick lunch and drop off my mix cds. He and I are so in tune; he always knows when I need him. [/edit]

•   •   •
Secret Crush 04.01.04
01:50 PM • 11 comment(s)1 trackback(s)permalink

"I got a crush on you
And that's true indeed.
I'm diggin you
You're makin me believe..."

I got a skreekret, I got a skreekret! I can't belive I'm actually speaking to this.

[gump moment]Okay, here goes.....I got a crush on a blogger. I've never met him in person, don't know if I have the balls to tell him, and it prolly doesn't matter cause he plays for the other team. In a nutshell, I have a crush on a gay man. [/gump moment]

He's smart, funny, aware (political and otherwise), proactive...all the things I want in a man. I wonder if he's tall. I think he's kinda fussy and picky, similar to the Rich White Lady That Drinks 40s While Booty Poppin On A Handstand. I like his style and want to know more about him, but can't bring myself to ask. I've found myself thinking about him more than I want to. It's time to tuck this in the box with the other things I'm not likely to obtain.

**LE SIGH**

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