Fat bitches, lend me your ears. I'm gettin tired of ya'll mean muggin me like I ate the last pack of Twinkies. Bein a flyy ass fat girl is some hard work. I unnerstan your struggle....goin out of your way trynna find shit that fits well, and more often that not it's expensive. Gotta keep the hair, nails (including toes) and eyebrows intact...gotta keep the attitude smoove...but I'm tired of ya'll. I'm tired of ya'll givin me the ice grill when you think I aint looking. Don't clutch your man. Don't whisper to your crew when I walk by. It's undeniable that I'm the shit. Deal with it.
Had lunch with the Mrs. today. Ruby Tuesday is on some different shit. These Atkins dieters are ruining my dining experience. Everything on the fuckin menu is low carb. Can a bitch get a regular meal? Man, we had to order way too much food to get full. We started off with quesadillas, which we sent back cause they were low carb. Actually, the Mrs. had them all in a tizzy bout the low carb quesadillas. Next came our chicken alfredo (or whatever that shit was) and burger and fries. They brought me my damn fries in a gravy boat. Oh yeth the hell they did. Gravy. Boat. That damn thing only had a handful of fries in it and my burger was flat. A bitch was still hongry. I order another gravy boat of fries (which they didn't charge me for) and still wasn't full. Instead of a traditional dessert, like ice cream or pie, we had BBQ chicken tenders. They was the bomb and some stuff.
The waitron staff was completely ghetto. Our waitress, Margarita was fresh off the boat and acted like she could barely speak ingles. I got ti-red of spea-king to her like she needed to be hooked on pho-nics. I unnerstan a nigga trynna get out the hood and all, but Tron was way too hood for my lunch time outing. No, I didn't "ruff off" the ketchup, whoadie. Gaaaaah. Youown say no shit like that to a cussoma.
The Mrs. informed me that some of the things I say aren't very nice. So the fuck what? What's so bad about saying Sadaam looks like he got lice? That nigga DO look like he got lice. All kindsa ticks and crawlies living in that beard of his. Juss nassy.
Why are bad words so much fun? I like to cuss. A whole fucking lot, I like to cuss. Bad words are real cool. I think I cuss too much. I'm wondering if my crass, abrasive attitude is scaring all the guys away. Bitch ass niggas.
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