Fat bitches, lend me your ears. I'm gettin tired of ya'll mean muggin me like I ate the last pack of Twinkies. Bein a flyy ass fat girl is some hard work. I unnerstan your struggle....goin out of your way trynna find shit that fits well, and more often that not it's expensive. Gotta keep the hair, nails (including toes) and eyebrows intact...gotta keep the attitude smoove...but I'm tired of ya'll. I'm tired of ya'll givin me the ice grill when you think I aint looking. Don't clutch your man. Don't whisper to your crew when I walk by. It's undeniable that I'm the shit. Deal with it.

Had lunch with the Mrs. today. Ruby Tuesday is on some different shit. These Atkins dieters are ruining my dining experience. Everything on the fuckin menu is low carb. Can a bitch get a regular meal? Man, we had to order way too much food to get full. We started off with quesadillas, which we sent back cause they were low carb. Actually, the Mrs. had them all in a tizzy bout the low carb quesadillas. Next came our chicken alfredo (or whatever that shit was) and burger and fries. They brought me my damn fries in a gravy boat. Oh yeth the hell they did. Gravy. Boat. That damn thing only had a handful of fries in it and my burger was flat. A bitch was still hongry. I order another gravy boat of fries (which they didn't charge me for) and still wasn't full. Instead of a traditional dessert, like ice cream or pie, we had BBQ chicken tenders. They was the bomb and some stuff.

The waitron staff was completely ghetto. Our waitress, Margarita was fresh off the boat and acted like she could barely speak ingles. I got ti-red of spea-king to her like she needed to be hooked on pho-nics. I unnerstan a nigga trynna get out the hood and all, but Tron was way too hood for my lunch time outing. No, I didn't "ruff off" the ketchup, whoadie. Gaaaaah. Youown say no shit like that to a cussoma.

The Mrs. informed me that some of the things I say aren't very nice. So the fuck what? What's so bad about saying Sadaam looks like he got lice? That nigga DO look like he got lice. All kindsa ticks and crawlies living in that beard of his. Juss nassy.

Why are bad words so much fun? I like to cuss. A whole fucking lot, I like to cuss. Bad words are real cool. I think I cuss too much. I'm wondering if my crass, abrasive attitude is scaring all the guys away. Bitch ass niggas.

23.June.2004    12:05 AM     Commments: 12

12 comment(s) » add yours

you're gonna have me laughing all night. good lawd.

posted by ej | 06.23.04 12:59 AM


Yes girl... I get the looks too- especially at my job - hehehe.. lemme quit. ;) But girl you are too gorgeous... you know they gon be hatin!!!
Yeah this Atkins craze is pissin me off too. I think we are taking this a liiiiil too far.

posted by grayse | 06.23.04 04:18 AM


*dead* @ "Ruff off" the ketchup. Da hell?!?! I've only had really ghetto ass waitron staff in Houston where the maitre'd took 10 minutes of superfluous conversation with his homegirl to come over and tell me, "You waiter will be over to sit you in a minute". And proceeded to roll his eyes at us for interrupting his gossip session. Heffa. Anywho. I tole you RT was Applebees, Jr. Mmm hmm, shole did.

posted by Monkie | 06.23.04 08:01 AM


Damn, and I thought TGIFriday's was bad.

posted by karsh | 06.23.04 09:02 AM


The carb craze needs to be over already! I wish I could make a new carb free product and get rich while these fools are losing their non-carbed minds.

I love me some spicy BBQ tenders from Ruby Tues. I had some the past Sunday and was PISSED off with their new gravy boat-served fries. Cut the cute and give me MORE fries already!

posted by MsThing | 06.23.04 10:38 AM


Tron! *dead* I thought that was yo name!

posted by Lisa | 06.23.04 01:58 PM


*dead* you are crazy fo' real!!!

posted by James | 06.23.04 07:06 PM


You're not allowed to play with Lisa anymore.

posted by The Mrs. | 06.24.04 01:17 AM


lol... Only been to ruby tuesdays once... and don't plan on going back..

food wuz decent, nothing to write home about..

lol @ your experience there...

posted by Pam - Reddy | 06.24.04 01:37 AM


In a minute I am going to get fired for laughing at these two entries. I'm so mad I've never come by your site - girl you are hilarious!!! Yeah, this carb thing has me irritated. As far as I'm concerned - carbs are on point!!! *my gut nods in agreement*

posted by Sig | 06.25.04 09:24 AM


i had ruby tuesday last weekend with my mom and it was okay the sirlion tips with a boat of potatoes w/gravy. there menu does have every thing low carb and i wonder is it really low carb????

i know you and the mrs. were extra sleeping after eating all of that.

lol @ tron with his lice.

posted by Lashundra | 06.25.04 01:30 PM


i swear on all that is sacred and holy - i said the SAME SHIT when i went to ruby's. the low carb revolution is some ignorant shit. i mean - why don't they just open up a chain of low carb restuarants and stop fucking up all the good food.

posted by girlwonder | 06.27.04 01:02 AM


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