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Laid-out by nOva
© 2003-2005 QUEENSEXY.NET
I finally finished that poem for Gramma. I had to hurry up and get it done, being that I aint goin to work tomorrow and I wanted to use the good printer and paper to make copies.
Written by ~SunRay~
Quiet noise has turned into sterile silence.
It permeates your soul, trapping itself between your spirit and subconscious.
Your presence is felt, but not quite the same
I still smell you and hear your laughter.
Beautiful you were, I strive to emulate
But fall short.
Fed me. Loved me. Cherished me.
Gave all of you but asked for nothing in return.
I will not mourn you, but celebrate who you were
It’s time to set free
The spirit that was encased.
I send my love
To your final resting place.
Now on to IM Convo Day!
NOVA KAINE 3001: is that a yes? oh how I love you so
KiaSunRay: you know you givin me head for this
NOVA KAINE 3001: for $34?
KiaSunRay: bitch yeah
NOVA KAINE 3001: I'll play with your nipples
KiaSunRay: then i get to skeet on you
NOVA KAINE 3001: not in my eye bitch
thisizpoetry: ewww @ i sneezed on my shirt
KiaSunRay: snotty ass
KiaSunRay: encrusted booga shirt
KiaSunRay: LMAO @ ur crusty booga shirt
KiaSunRay: clean the crusty boogas off your shirt
thisizpoetry: lol it was a wet sneeeze fooooooooo
KiaSunRay: wet dries eventually
thisizpoetry: lol its dry
NOVA KAINE 3001: please do, so the rest of us can point and laugh
NOVA KAINE 3001: *bleed*
KiaSunRay: *band aid*
NOVA KAINE 3001: you stab me and all i need is a bandaid?
NOVA KAINE 3001: dafuck?
KiaSunRay: at least i tried
KiaSunRay: i juss saw a lady wiff a jheri curl!!!!
thisizpoetry: did you speak?
thisizpoetry: could'a been jeefus
KiaSunRay: i hate you
KiaSunRay: jeefus does NOT have a jheri
KiaSunRay: him got an s curl
thisizpoetry: jeefus has whadeva he wanna have
thisizpoetry: NOT'A s curl!
• • •
CIA called a susta again cause they needed MORE info on my app. After the 5643216794764 forms they sent me last month, ya think they'd have enough info already. She proceeds to tell me that I should receive a letter in the next few weeks telling me when I should come in for my medical exam and polygraph. Gah. Why they always think a bitch is lyin? After that, they gon' start my background investigation. I'm fine with that; I'll have more time to get this credit situation in order.
Speaking of finances, I'm on my way to refinancing the house. After Chevy Chase (a local bank here) told me no, I decided to marinate on that for a minute. I was quite disappointed. I remembered a nice lady that gave me advice about home loans, so I called her up. Whoda thunk she'd have a part time job workin with some refinancing compay. I submitted my application today. I'm excited bout the possibilties. I can make some much needed repairs on my house and put a down payment on the other, to get into real estate investing like I've been wanting to.
Ya'll know I luh my Elmo. We just aint seeing eye to eye right now. He wants me to come in on Tues and Thurs to do cardio. Queen Sexy hates cardio. I prefer weights. Weights = fun. Cardio = not fun. Ya'll know he bitched me OUT for not comin yessaday?!? For 45 fuckin minutes I had to endure his yap about not showing up and "doin what ever I feel like it when I want to." I already tole his ass that's how I roll, so he caint say he didn't know.
Blacktice League name....LapLove Lohanson. Learn it, love it, respect it. One.
• • •
|Cain't Let It Ride
I'd like to thank everyone for their condolences and well wishes. This hardest part is explaining this to the kids. They loved Gramma and this is their first experience with death. Thank you all for your concern and support.
But there's another situation that needs to be dealt with.
Last Thursday when I left for ATL, I was looking forward to hanging out and having a good time. I still had a good time and plan to go back in the fall, but there's an undercurrent that is still going on, and I'm ready to address it.
It was my intent to let this ride, but the shit just won't die. Yes, I was stood up last Friday morning. No it didn't feel good.
Frankly, I didn't think the situation was that traumatic. I didn't hold anyone hostage and saying no is always an option. No is okay. I'm not so pissed that you didn't show up, but more pissed that you weren't honest with me about your intentions. If you had other plans/desires/feelings, why not just say that? Makes more sense and is quite simple.
Yes, my ticket was charged on your card. And yes, you recieved your money back. In full. You offered, I accepted. I know better next time. When someone extends and act of kindness or curtesy, truly kind people do it from the heart, not to keep score.
Now it's time to stop this bullshit back and forth between the blogs and bloggers. I didn't call you out. I didn't put you out there. Others felt your actions were sub par and decided to address it. Again, I chose to let it ride.
Yes, a phone call would have sufficed, however, you chose not to. Your reasoning for not calling is weak. It doesn't take that much effort to pick up a phone. I'm not mad, since I know you have a track record of such behavior. I do find the way you handled the situation most distasteful.
Now you've heard from my mouth how I feel about this situation, and I'mma let it ride.
• • •
|Ashes to Ashes
Edit--Tonite at 9:50 PM, Gramma departed us.
Edit Edit--I've been called upon to write a poem bout Gramma.
I went to see Gramma today at the hospital. She's been sick for a minute but was getting better. Last Thursday, the day I left for ATL, she was taken back to the hospital cause her blood pressure dropped real low.
From last Thursday to now, she quickly deteriorated. When her blood pressure dropped, she was taken to the closest hospital, which unfortunately is one of the worst hospitals in the city. They wouldn't give her the acid reflux medicine cause they didn't prescribe it. She ate, threw up, and refused to eat again. For days she wouldn't eat and the little Ensure liquid meal things weren't helping. Monday she was transferred to another hospital.
When I walked into the room today, I didn't believe the woman I saw lying there was MY gramma. I looked into the other bed to make sure I wasn't overlooking my gramma. I had to face the fact that the small, frail decaying woman is my gramma. Now she has pneumonia and fluid in her lungs. She can't breathe on her own. Even her wig is gone, exposing the cropped white afro she protected for decades. She can't speak, nor will she open her eyes. Her mechanically assisted wheezing made my heart hurt. I went over to her to touch her head and stroke her cheek, wanting to make sure of what I was seeing was real. They say she could still hear, but I couldn't tell cause she can't respond. She's in pain. Her wheezing gets a bit louder and she squirms a bit. Staying in her room was difficult. She has the stench of death. I've experienced this smell before, watching my father's death, a slow death that spanned the course of four years. I attempted to review this year in my mind to determine when she felt like she was ready to die. I couldn't pinpoint why/who/when these feelings occured. Maybe she always had em. Why do the caring, gentle people are allowed to expire, but the cold, callous people are allowed to live forever?
When she decides to take her last breath, I will be almost alone. The only person left to care about what happens to me is my mother, cause no one else is really concerned. Gramma always supported me through whatever I chose to do and made sure to tell others to mind they damn business. Gramma made sure I was never stranded. Gramma made sure we always ate. She's the nucleaus, never to be replaced.
• • •
I'm officially back in DC and have been since Tuesday afternoon. I enjoyed my stay in ATL and I'm making plans to head back in September to see the Battle of the Bands. That should be fun.
Little Known Facts About My VisitI scalded myself in the shower...twice.
I'm scared of the theatre room cause it doesn't have a window.
I didn't get in the jacuzzi...dommit!
Took a lot of self control not to fondle Leeser's ass.
Leeser and I posed in front of the Martin Loofah Kang Center like heathens. There has to be a special place in hell for us.
Southern men actually have manners.
That little flap of skin at the opening of your ear does in fact have a name (Tragus) and I pierced mine. It was an intentional piercing so shaddup!
I'm allergic to doggie slobber. (sorry Anna!)
EJ and Prime Bear have random stuff in their refridgerator.
MizLise gave me a broke down raggedy ass battery charger (for the digi cam) that had to be nigga rigged for it would work.
Pics will be coming soon.
It's hard easing back into regular everday life. Lounging is much easier. Today I had to have a session with Elmo which was quite easy since he was distracted with pics. Heh heh heh. What I look like sweatin and gruntin for an hour? Iown think so. He wants me to come to the gym 5 days a week. I think he has a mental disease. Okay....I wasn't gon' post this part BUT, Elmo finally showed me some skin. Woo lawd jeefus. Not exactly what I was expecting, but pleasing just the same. What a cute belly button! No I don't have pics so don't ask.
• • •
|Welcome To Atlanta
I arrived Thursday nite as a surprise for King Sexy's berfday. Surprised he was. Let's give a recap of my horendus flight.
Friday, 4:15 PM
I arrived at Reagan National Airport to meet up with MizLise. We had lunch at Friday's and had the slowest waiter on Earth. He just....played to gotdamn much. I was trynna leave ASAP being that I had to walk through a time warp tunnel to get to the other terminal, which used to be the main terminal several years ago. I had to go the serving area to ask homeboy to bring the check. Shit, I aint have time to be waiting on his ass. A bitch had a plane to catch.
After walking 7956926608 miles to get to the terminal, I stand in line for another 5 minutes waiting for some confused dude to get his boarding pass. I get to the counter and the fuckin cust serv rep gon' tell me "We have a cut off time of 5:30 for check in. I already called for the last baggage pick up. You're chances of getting on this flight are slim" **GASP** goes Queen Sexy cause he just said the wrong words to me. He saw me standing in line behind that dude. He could've held the bagagge pickup dudes. If I'm standing in line at your counter, chances are, you ass fucker, I want to board a flight on your airline. After he tells me I would have to take a flight the next morning from an airport that's much farther out, I less than kindly let him know that I paid for a ticket on that flight and there should be a seat for me. Of course it was requested that he call to find out. Guess what? There was a seat specially for Queen Sexy. I fuckin thought so. I'd hate to have to shank somebody.
My first day in ATL got off to a rocky start. This pissed me off severly. I can't stand for a person to tell me they're going to do something, then conviently fall off the face of the Earth. Don't do that ignorant shit. If you can't or don't want to do something, just say that shit. I certainly don't appreciate having my time wasted.
King Sexy picked up the slack and we went to Little Five Points, a funky sorta bohemian like part of ATL where the artsy people dwell. Of course I loved it. We went to a bazaar with a black vibe and picked up some cds. Having options is good. Having too many options is detrimental to my bank account. The CD Man had all types off good neosoul. I couldn't focus on one disk for several others catching my eye at the same time. Talk about sensory overload. I moved to the next stand, also run by The CD Man to pick up some fruity smelling oils (Lick Me Mango, Eat Me Raw, Wet Kisses) and a bar of 3 n 1 (shea, mango, cocoa) butter soap. I have to get back to that plae. I'm in love. We had lunch at a cute place called Vortex, some sort of burgers and fries place. Next we head out to see I, Robot, which was okay by my standards. Had some funny parts, some dead parts and decent action scenes. To end the evening, we headed to a swanky Italian dessert joint for coffee and cake. This made of for the fuckery that was my morning. I think I enjoyed King Sexy's berfday more than he did.
• • •
Some shit has been getting on my nerves lately, and dammit, ya'll gon' hear bout it.
*STAB* *STAB* that muhfukka Kanye for starting that trend of the flipped up collar on polo shirts. I seriously hate him for that shit. Folks are rockin this shit like it actually looks good. Guess what, it don't.
*STAB* the old lady who stayed in the candle store for 3 fuckin hours. We practically had to push her out the damn door so we could close. Yes, I just stabbed an old lady. I'm an equal opportunity stabber.
*STAB* the cheap bitch that came in the candle store to use her gift card but didn't check the balance. She decided not to get a whole rack of shit because there was only $10 on the card. Cheap ass hoe.
*STAB* Elmo for being such a prude. Nigga take summa dem clothes off. Shit. What's the use of having muscles if nobody can see the muhfukkas????
*STAB* *STAB* *STAB* any bitch I see wearing a poncho. *STAB* any bitch that think ponchos are still cute. I officially hate ponchos and their billion colors. It's 800 degrees up here in DC. There's no logical reason to have on an extra layer of clothes.
*STAB* *STAB* elitist web designin muhfukkas. I'm really starting to loose my patience with ya'll.
*STAB* the nigga that tried to holla today after I told him I had a man. Of course I don't have a man, but that nigga needs to take rejection with a grain of salt. I already shut him down once before, why come back? Masochist.
*STAB* *STAB* Jay-Z for smoochin a broad AND for being ugly. If you gon' be ugly, the least you can do is be nice.
*STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* the muhfukka that think his shit don't stink. You know, that nigga that knows all and can do no wrong. Get the fuck outta heah with that dumb shit. Refer to the nearest corner and go sit the fuck down.
• • •
Got it from this dude, who got it from her and him. 20 questions to a better personality
You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.
Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.
You are not to be messed with. You may explode.
I really don't want to belive I'm as anal as this quiz suggests.
• • •
|Queen Sexy Is The Bomb
Yes indeedy I is. After my Nike Shox purchase, the funds got a bit low. Queen Sexy & Co still have to eat until next payday. While mulling over the (cheap) lunch choices in the area, I decide to head over to Lil' Mary, our faithful caterer to see what her bomb ass chef was putting down on the lunch buffet. Lemme tell ya'll sumfin: That white boy can cook his ass OFF. I would prostitute myself for a plate of his food. Yes indeedy I would. I get to the buffet and wander a bit more, not sure of what I wanted. Lil Mary's Husband calls me over and says, "Get what you want, it's on me, since I can't take you out for a Pina Colada." Word?!?!? Sheeeeeeit, aint gotta tell me twice. As we speak, I'm muching on spinach lasagne with carrots and ground chicken with a nice side of mixed fruit (watermelon, strawberries, blue berries and pineapple). The only thing that could make this day better would be an overturned armored truck.
Not sure what awakened my inner geek, but I've been on a lit-trit-chur kick lately. The Shakespeare Theatre has a bomb ass 2004-2005 season, starting with Macbeth, one of my favorites. I went and picked up the book over the weekend so I could refresh on the play. It's unfortunate I wasn't able to appreciate this in high school.
I'm really enjoying reading this (as difficult as the language is) and have come to the conclusion that Lady Macbeth is the original down ass chick:
Lady Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 5
Your hand, like your tongue; look like th' innocent flower,
But be the serpent under't. He that's coming
Must be provided for; and you shall put
This night's great business into my dispatch...
...To alter favoer ever is to fear.
Leave all the rest to me.
Tell me she aint a ryde or die chick! She straight plottin on niggas to have her man's back. That's some thorough ass shit. Murder, settin niggas up...this Shakespeare dude was way before his time. He musta lived in the hood.
• • •
...all damn day. That's the greeting I received from my faithful Elmo when I walked in the gym this afternoon. Today I decided to break tradition and go to the gym because I wanted to, not cause I "had" to. Poor Elmo was all perplexed and whatnot. He'll be okay though. It's time for me to step up my game. This fat aint goin no where. Well it's goin real slow and I'm not pleased bout that. At. all. I'mma TRY to go everyday (Mon-Fri) and see if this process can be sped up just a little.
After a year of drought, I actually bought a pair of tennis shoes. I'm now in love with Nike Shox. How could I have gone through life without a pair of these? This is the most comfortable pair of Nikes I've ever owned. Not better than New Balance in the comfort department, but way more durable. Just when I was ready to give up on Nike.....
Why are tennis shoes so fuckin expensive? There's nothing under $80 that's worth looking at. The shit that was on sale was completely absurd. Why would I want a pair of lime green Nikes? Patchwork Chuck Tayolr's aint cool neither. I remember when I could get a hot pair of Nikes for $50! What the hell happened? If I had loot like that, I'd collect all styles of these Nike Shox, I love em that much.
Ladies, if your little D'Quandre is 11.5 months old and is just learning how to walk, please don't unleash that nigga in public spaces. I can promise he'll be riding my leg like a circus ride as I stride through and kick this lil nigga out of my way. Keep that shit at home! I know you all proud and stuff that your baby can walk, but let's keep mall traffic moving, okay? Can we agree on some shit?
• • •
|Where's TGI Friday's
Note: Thanks for all the kind words and warm wishes. Everday Struggle is real.
Back to my regularly scheduled ranting.
Yessaday I went out with the Sour Puss and MizLise
When this lunch date was planned, the intention was not to celebrate nOva, but just to get some free food and have face to face conversation. That quickly morfed into our initial meeting spot being changed from Uno's to TGI Friday's, which I don't like a whole lot. Not familiar with the downtown location (eventhough I've seen it) I ask Lise for directions, since she's been there and should know where it is. I get in the general area of where Friday's SHOULD be, and guess what...MizLise done pulled a Rocka and sent my ass to a place that don't even exist. Talk about Fired. Up. I was one upset hongry bitch. Add heat and a backpack to the mix and I'm ready to chew on somebody's arm.
After some wandering and a bit of bickering, we ended up at Uno's where we belonged in the first place. I'm happy to be in my favorite restaurant until we get the Waiter from Hell. This dude was completely dumb. He had to be ADD or sumfin. He never paid us any mind and needed to be beckond to every time we had a request. He fucked up nOva's Raspberry Iced Tee so badly he head to get a manager. He had to be flagged down so we could get an appetizer. During the appetizer he didn't come back to take our order for the main course. We crushed that appetizer and neatly stacked the plates and bones before he returned to take our order and that didn't happen until the manager interviened. He got Lise's order all wrong and fucked up the drink refill, bringing me an Iced Tea instead of a plain cup of water. I hate Iced Tea. His attitude was pure lackadaisical. He really irritated me. Five bucks was taken off our bill, but eh, he still sucked gargantuan horse dick.
If you're one of my regular readers, you'd know I'd been having a hard time lately and received an unexpected gift. I got a gift for nOva's berfday. Aint that the bomb and some stuff? MizLise was afraid I'd use gramma's rosary so she bought me my own set of... ANAL BEADS! Said beads are accompanied by three samples of flavored lube. Aint Lise speshull?
After we escaped the Waiter from Hell, we skipped on over to Haagen-Daz for some super beautimous ice cream. I thought I died and orgasmed on myself. I haven't had a slurp of ice cream in months (my favorite treat of all time) and it felt climatic to sip on a chocolate shake with an extra shot of chocolate syup. Forget dick. Somebody get me a Haagen Daz gift certificate. Be a friend. The gas we had afterward wasnt so friendly though...gotdamn!
We dragged nOva over to Lane Bryant, a store he dispises cause he know once he goes in, he'll never again see the light of day. Most of the clearance stuff was gone (to my disappointment) and they were putting out fall merchandise. I'm not ready for fall! This is around the time where I'm just getting into summer. Retail, slow down already.
We head over to the clearance table with all the on sale pannies. Ladies, if your ass happens to be 26/28, (ie, big as hayle) there's no good reason for you to showcase that ass with a thong. OMG, that's just not...nice. Cut it out. Them lazy heffas didn't even separate the different styles of underwear. I kept encountering thongs and g-strings while in pursuit of my high cut briefs. Why bauver with sexy drawls when you just gon' take em off anyway? It's much simpler and more economical to go without.
• • •