16. Lose 100 pounds. This really should be posted on the other site, but um, I'll get around to updating there.

Lately, I've had to realign myself with my weight loss goals since I became derailed late last year. I told Elmo he needs to be more aggressive with the workouts and he's been more than happy to oblige. My slow progress, coupled with boredom, had me feeling apathetic to the program and I lost interest. The weirdness between us before he went on vacation sure didn't help.

He came back after the new year and everything's cool. He's bringing it hard. I'm impressed. I didn't think he had it in him. I enjoy it all eventhough my flippant comments and saucey attitude shows other wise. I'm having an issue with one exercise that he thinks is the greatest. Hell, I like it too but what I don't like is its affect on me. This is the part where you guys use your great imaginations, mmmkay?

Imagine me...lying back with my head supported on a ball. A big ass ball. The rest of my body is in a bridge-like position with hips elevated. (I call this position Mating). Elmo is kind enough to give me any heavy object he can find and instructs me to press up and down, you know, bench press like. Everything's cool till he stands over me. I sofuckinghatethat. You wanna know why? Everytime I look up, I'm looking directly into his abysmal crotch. That shit drives me nuts. (no pun intended) I know he thinks it's the weight or fatigue. It's the thought of his balls dangling at the tip of my nose that sends the weights to wobblin. He knows I don't like it, but does it anyway. Unless he want me to nibble on his sac, he'll move that sucker.

31.January.2005    08:03 PM     Commments: 6

6 comment(s) » add yours


Well at least they ain't funky. Or are they?

posted by karsh | 01.31.05 09:22 PM


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um....nawl they aint got no funk...at least from what i can tell. but it's a gym, it's supposed to smell like funk.

posted by Queen Sexy | 01.31.05 10:07 PM


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How you gonna post up on here that you don't like his babby makin sac hangin in your face! PFT! You just mad cuz he don't lower em a bit to put them in reach....

You need to focus on liftin' the weights and not starin at his man crotch!

LMAO! (waits for KIA to come after me for this)

posted by Prime (AKA Mike) | 02.01.05 10:00 AM


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oh, not the nut sac in your face! try closing your eyes... maybe that will help a lil'

posted by feepee | 02.01.05 01:56 PM


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I'm straight cracking up over here! That shyt is funny as hell!

posted by sunshine | 02.03.05 04:01 PM


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Nibble em.

posted by Lisa | 02.08.05 04:51 PM


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