I let the kids marinate on the fact that they momma aint a balla or food stamp queen, therefore, I can't replace food as quickly as they eat it. I decided to break their fast today and replinsh.

I like to walk to the store which is about a 20 minute walk from my house. It helps me clear my mind and keeps Elmo off my back about cardio. That's one naggin ass nigga. Anyway, I take in the sights of the hood: the bus stop, the KFC that was smellin right nice and the funeral home. I'll never forget this funeral home because it's the one where the service for my grandmother, my father's mother, was held.

Funeral ettiqute shole done changed. When I went to my grandma's funeral over the summer, my mother's mother, we had the average shit: flowers, preacher man, simple black limo...the blacks sure do it different now. Most people wore jeans, forget the black suit. This one hoe had on a mink (I'm convinced it was bear skin) coat and stilletos. What happened to class and respect? I also thought it was too damn cold for capri pants.

What did it for me with this group is the stretch white Exscursion they used for a limo. Oh, with chrome. This was the gaudiest thing I've ever seen in a funeral. "Lil' Man want his Momma doin it up in style!" Do it big or go home? I'd say, "Just go the fuck home and leave this coon ass shit alone."

While standing in the ridiculously long lines in the sto' I saw this bad ass lil boy running around. He was justa hoopin and hollin. His momma wasn't stoppin him either. I wanted to snatch him up and beat him myself. I can't stand no bad ass kids. That's why I don't want no more. It's like they come out programmed the be the spawn of Satan.

Speaking of heathens, my own damn kids are a colorful pair. They don't give a goodgahdamn bout my privacy. I'm on the toilet, bout to drop the kids off and they just bust on in like my personal bathroom time is community property. They come in....and stay there. I'm like...damn! Go.Way.

My son has takin a liking to this hood ass rap they got out now and I listen to it for my own amusement as well. The Hood Song of the Week in my house is... *DRUM ROLL*...White Tee! Who are these Franchize Boyz and why they so ignant? "You can get a circle or v-neck on your white tee." Um....isn't that circle called a CREWNECK? I just thought I'd ask. The Boy has decided that he "serves feinmbs (yes he said feinmbs) in his white tee. I told him to serve his ass a seat on that couch and shut his mouth. I swear, he just get way too into it.

19.February.2005    08:57 PM     Commments: 9

9 comment(s) » add yours


They STAYED in the bathroom? *ROFL* I tried that shit ONCE with my mom when I was a kid and damn near was knocked out because of the noxious fumes.

posted by karsh | 02.19.05 11:26 PM


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Man, my kids would get DEALT wit, tryna bust in whilst I'm doing my excretory thang. Shoooot...I need to concentrate!

Why y'all funemal home so hood?

posted by Lisa | 02.19.05 11:50 PM


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* DEAD * why you pikcin on the boy. You know yall be having hood rap time singin' em togeather. Then he go a little too far and you get concerned. LOL

And why no comment about the Girl sayin "FREEZE SUCKA" to the Boy cuz he ran her toy car into her? DYING! Otha people's K.I.D.S can be so entertaining.

posted by Prime (AKA Mike) | 02.20.05 10:20 AM


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kids should never come in during Coochie Time. it's just not right.

posted by ej | 02.20.05 10:37 AM


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my son finally knows how to knock. but then tries to demand that i say "come in". he be on the otherside "mama! you gotta boo boo?" i'm like "yeah, go away" PLOP! dayum back splash! i HATE THAT!

posted by feepee | 02.22.05 12:39 AM


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man, your use of foul language reminds me of my child hood...lol... too funny.

posted by b | 02.23.05 12:53 PM


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ha, mhm.. i'll tell my kids they "fastin" too.. "look to jeezus, look to jeezus," i'll say. i'd only have to buy what? $40 worth of groceries a month? lmfso

posted by tionne | 02.23.05 07:09 PM


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White Tee. LOL. That's one of my "friend's" favorite song. You should listen to Pink Tee and the chick version of White Tee.

posted by CEE | 02.24.05 11:47 PM


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I didn't even realize that was Lil Kim. She looks quite different with black hair. She almost looks human.

Anyhoo, I lock the door. And even when I don't lock the door, my lil ninjas just basically stand outside the door until I come out.

I love the kids. It's like having a fan club. They adore you even when you have morning breath and just lit up the bathroom. LOL!

posted by pear | 02.26.05 10:18 AM


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