This Mother's Day was quite interesting. It started of with the daughter giving me a card she made in school, which was right cute and wrapped in Christmas paper. My Momma called me bright and early demanding to know what time I planned to arrive.

I show up two hours later thinking my sisters would be gone by then. Alas, they were just arriving themselves. They even bought cards and gifts for me. I was shocked and rupauled at the thought because they'd never thought about me on MD before and I'd be lucky if I'd even receive a phone call. Could be trying to make ammends. *checks calendar* Mayhap Armegeddon is near.

I thought my MD endend nicely: gifts, cards, cake...a ride home. How nice of the sister to not let me haul those bags home on the bus.

I barely crossed the threshold when the other sister called. She informed me that the daughter gave her son $10 and she'd be sending it back to me in a card. I.was.heated. I went and checked my top drawer for the money I'd been saving for the grass cutting guy, cause my yard is off the chain. It was all there. I immediately knew it was the money missing from my bag earlier in the week, when I broke my last $20 at the mall. The next morning I was so distraught at the fact that I'd possibly misplaced my transportation for the week and would have to dip into my damn near deflated savings. I knew that was it. Before I dug in her ass, I tried to make her explain what it is she wants and why does she feel it necessary to steal from me. Of course she tried to deny it and thought better of it since she doesn't want to face the Wrath of Mom. That shit is lethal.

I explained to her that I give her all I can; If I have it, she can have it. She doesn't completely understand the concept of priorities and I don't expect her to. I did explain why things the way they are and what I have to do to keep the basic things that she likes such as lights and cable. I also told her I don't work at the candle store because I like it but because I need to. I didn't have to beat her. She felt bad enough after that.

She's angry with me. She's angry because her father made and abrupt departure (AGAIN) from her life approximately three years ago and has decided he can't be bothered. I'm blamed for the disappearance. This weight, this burden is going to be upon my shoulders for many years to come; she's not going to hold him accountable for anything. Why should she? When anything goes wrong, she looks to Mom to fix it, not him. In her eyes, he's this great mystical creature that appears in her life whenevever the woman of the hour inquires about his child and why he isn't being a father, and blah blah. No woman wants to admit she's involved with a deadbeat. A loser. A man with no honor. To pacify the woman, he'll come around for a little bit, buy gifts, take her out to spend a little time. When the woman is satisfied, his participation stops leaving a jilted confused child with blame on my shoulders.

I'm at a crossroads cause I don't know how to explain this tactfully. All I know how to do is tell her the truth. I don't want to put her through that kind of pain at such a young age. Frankly, I have no idea how to handle this situation. Eventually, she'll have to understand that Ma can't make everything work all the time.

08.May.2005    10:26 PM     Commments: 3

3 comment(s) » add yours


Happy mothers day to ya gyrlie...

The post was madd deep... Put alot on my mind.. That whole father/daughter relationship thang is a trip-n-a-half.. Lawd knows i went thru those ups n downs myself.

posted by Pam - Reddy | 05.09.05 01:19 AM


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*hugs*

she will be alright and she will understand. but it may be some time before she does in full and until then, i wish you all the patience in the world.

posted by Lise | 05.11.05 04:43 PM


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happy belated mommy's day :)

your sis will be alright and hopefully she'll realize the truth and i know it is hurting her but she'll eventually see it.

posted by lashundra | 05.23.05 03:56 PM


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