After Training Day went off, I flipped through the channels to see what I could see. I stumbled across Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. As I watch each participant recount their personal struggles, I turn inward to examine my own.

I started off so well in my Fat Fight. It really takes a conscious effort to be successful at weight loss. Last week was a very good week; this week isn't going so well. While I'm disappointed, I am realigning myself with the task at hand.

As I was listening to Ms. Countess Vaughn discuss her painful divorce, I realized, I too am going through a divorce. No, I'm not married, nor am I certain that's the best lifestyle for me. I am divorcings...self.

There was a me I used to be not long ago. I didn't like who she was. You always have to take the good with the bad, but the bad was gettin on my nerves. For the new me to completey emerge, there are some parts of my past that I'll need to completely sever ties with. This will be messy. Some feelings will get hurt along the way. If I don't change the old shit about me, I'll continue to attract the same old bullshit. I don't want it anymore.

I'll have to...renege: take it back, throw it back, rewind it back and start again. You know how you know you aint posed to be doing something, but do it anyway because you think "it's gon' be aiite"? Not even listening to your instinct, you proceed. Then get fucked up. Then FEEL fucked up. Um...yeah. That's me. I got myself in, I'll get out. What's important is my happiness.

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15.February.2006    09:19 PM    

Happy Valentine's Day to all!

*Edit* nOva sent me a cute teddy bear card thing. It so cute! */Edit*

As I was coming off the Metro this morning, on my way to work, I heard this dude say, "She got a stank attitude." While I can't positively confirm he was talking about me, my gut tells me he was. Don't understand why? Follow me.

I see this dude every morning, Tuesday-Thursday. He stands in front of the escalator, slangin the Washington Post Express, the free daily paper offered by major news carrier in the city. Sometimes I want a paper, sometimes I don't. He speaks. I speak and keep it moving. One day he tried to shove a paper in my hand and get me to stop. Dude reached out to grab my hand. I shook my head and kept steppin. Heown know me like that to be trynna touch me. I'm moving on to a new phase in my life and certain requirements must be met (more on those later) if a man thinks he wants to be part of my life. Besides, I can't stand scraggly facial hair and this dude was egregious with it.

Back to my original point. I do believe dude was talkin bout me cause I shut him down ere time he try to holla. I don't vocalize anything; the nod of my head will suffice. As always, I keep it moving. He aint the only one that tried. These niggas musta had a conference and decided that it's likely one of em will be able to get at me eventually. LMAO. The thought just made me laugh.

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14.February.2006    12:12 PM     Commments: 0