I need to mate. Like yesterday.

I was layin back the other nite, thinkin bout who's up for the task (and worthy) of being my playmate. I started thinkin bout the top three most memorable lovers.

3. - Locs

Not sure where I stumbled across dude, but he's one of the first cats I met when I moved back to DC. He was tasty, no doubt. Very thorough with that tounge ring. Stocky and broad just like i like em. Wasn't much to look at in the face though. My eyes were closed half the time so that didn't matter.

Most Redeming Quality- cooking

This nigga could seriously throw down in the kitchen. I mean just cook up some shit! I'm sure that's where that extra 20 lbs came from in 2000. I blame him. Where is he now....not sure if I care.

2. - JSJ

I never woulda noticed him in class if it weren't for his loud ass obnoxious friend. When I used to do the classroom thing (I take online classes now), I always kept to myself. I'm not a snob, just shy. Nobody believes that though. He came up in the computer lab one day, trynna buy somebody's project cause he didn't do his. I smirked cause I knew he was lookin for me. I used to be a hustla back in the day. LOL. I catch his eye and he comes over...he gags on the price a lil, but hands over my loot. Who else could garauntee an A for the price he was gettin??

We quickly realized we were very similar, bein born under the same sun sign and all. He hated the governement. I was broke. All I can say is...great minds think alike and money started comin in. J gave the best head I've ever experienced. He knew it too. I'm laid back trynna enjoy it, but not too much. He broke me down. Gahdamn.

Most Redeeming Quality- his smarts

Dude was very intelligent. That's hot. He was very logical, methodical...he was on point. He really understood the world in ways I had yet to discover. He was about his business and I liked that. Where is he now...he's still ridin his bid. I can't wait for him to come home....

Hey, this brings us to Numero Uno....

1. - BD3

As much as it pains me to admit this, he's is an excellent lover. He's gentle, stong, adventurous, rough, loving and demanding at the same time. I discovered my sexual self with him. Unfortunately, he doesn't have much goin on upstairs. That nigga aint bright. At. All.

Most Redeming Quality- his walk.

A graceful swagger is best I can describe it. Stands tall, shoulders back, head up...I loved it. The walk of a confident man, it was. Little did I know at the time it was a facade for all that was fucked up in his life. Man, oh, man did I learn some shit dealing with him. What did I learn? He showed me exactly what I didn't want and who I don't want to be. Where is he now?? Unfortunatly, I have his child and I'll never be rid of him. Ever. Ever. Ever. That's a long damn time.

There's also a guy that's memorable for another reason. Oh my.

Dishonorable Mention goes to....

The Bus Driver!

This fellow could munch carpet with the best of em. I thought I was bout to have a damn seizure. I was afraid my damn eyes was gon' get stuck in the back of my head. Not cool.

Okay, we get down to the good part, he's bout to undress and all. I'm lookin for his man part. He's fully undressed and I'm still looking...shit was just not workin in his favor. I've seen a larger penis on an infant. That just wasn't fair. If someone else experienced that dude and came back and told me bout it, I damn sure wouldn't have believed it. It's just not acceptable for an adult male to have a penis that small. I think that God dude should have guidelines when he's passin out the appendage. A penis should be large enough to fit a standard size condom. Yes, when he put the condom on, there was a significant amount of space left. I was befuddled. I didn't know wtat the fuck to do. So you know what I did...yeah I hit the "it's getting late, gotta work in the morning, I think the baby's cryin" thing on him. Damn if i was gettin any where near that.

24.March.2006    12:35 PM     Commments: 3

3 comment(s) » add yours

I'm toooooooooo crackin up @ the bus driver.. Usually the ones who munch carpet the best do so because..... well.. they gotta have sumthing in their favor

SMH @ his package so small it should be against the law.

posted by Reddy | 03.27.06 10:43 PM


Girl, he real trife for hittin me with the oakie doke like that. I've gnawed on baby carrots bigger than that thing. I'm a size queen and not shamed to admit it. I need a dick with some girth to it. If his dick don't tumble out his pants and hit the floor with a thud (leaving the requisite crack) he don't need to be worried bout gettin anywhere near this. Anyone less than 8 inches need not apply.

posted by QS | 03.28.06 01:08 AM


OMG! I think I know that guy! *LoL* Why is it that every friggin' man with no damn penis can munch!!

posted by Joann aka Golden | 04.06.06 09:19 PM


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