I've been doing the "diet" thing for about 3 weeks now. It's going okay; my body is reshaping itself, which is cool. Working out is no big thing to me (anymore). Weight lifting is my favorite part.

The kids have taken a liking to working out with me as well. I've noticed the most change in Grand Diva, the oldest daughter. She likes to ask a lot of questions about what I do to lose weight. I then noticed she started taking salads for lunch. Coupled with Doritos but still a salad, no less. Now she's concerned about the food she eats because she wants to lose weight. At five feet tall and 107 lbs, she thinks she's fat. It hurts my heart so bad. At 9 years old she's alread adopted a negative self image. I have yet to figure out how to approach this subject with her. Weight has always been a difficult topic for me. I am worried about the kind of example I set for her being that I diet often.

In other news, BD2 done finally sent some money out here. Bout fuckin time. This is the first time in 7 years he's sent money. That one time his wife gave me a check 4 years ago certainly doesn't count. He'll send clothes, shoes or a coat ere now and again, but never has he put money in my hand. When he called to give me the Western Union control number first thing this morning, I thought he was bullshittin. I been goin back and forth with him for years bout child support. Something that is a necessity shouldn't feel like a blessing. I'm not gonna allow myself to get used to it though; I don't count on it being a regular occurance. I look at it as extra money.

My love life sucks so bad right now. I was whinin to my main man Ninja T bout it. I don't necessarily agree with all of his methods and opinions, but we always have a good debate. I remember when I used to be able to talk to the BF like that... [end wistful moment]. Now that we've gotten passed our akward moment, I wish I had more time to talk to NT. That's something I really miss having in my life. I could always debate with nOver, but we just end up harping and calling each other names. LOL. That's all we know, and frankly, it's rather amusing.

03.March.2006    11:49 PM     Commments: 0

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