Initially, when I started my job, it was intended to be a part-time position. That was a fine set up for me being that the baby wasn't sleeping through the nite at that time and I didn't feel up to working full-time. Now my position has been expanded to include an additional day per week. I've also been told they are trying to develop a position for me so I can be added as a full-time employee. I'm excited and I'm not.
I'm not excited becasue:
I'm excited about the possibilities of this position. I'm not excited about working under a micro manager. Given the stressors I already have, I don't need her adding to them, which she does all the time. I need to get to a place where I don't internalize her psychosis. I'm not there yet.
While we were discussing my career goals, the topic of promotions came up. I was basically told to stay away from my cubemate cause having dealings with her could jeopardize my chances for promotion. I agree she does have a stank attitude when it comes to some things. I realized this a long time ago. As a result, I've distanced myself. When it comes to the workplace, she's a bitter person and I don't want any parts of that.
Our office is moving; the boss and I will be moving to another floor with the rest of our team. I wasn't looking forward to it at first, but I think it'll be good for me. I'll be able to focus on my work more and not be distracted by my cubemate. My boss irritates the shit outta me and I often want to punch her in the throat, but I can't let that deter me from persuing a career. I won't be under her reign forever.
My educational goals have also been adjusted. I'm sick of the school I've been attending all these years and their curriculum no longer meets my objectives. After I pay off this lil balance I have on my account, Imma transfer. I'm really interested in tech writing and have decided to change my major to Communications. I do a lot of writing in my current job and I'm good at it. I'm now receiving requests from other team members to assist with special projects. It's a good feeling since I rarely get positive reinforcement from my boss. She typically points out everything I do wrong. It affects my morale. My mindset is different now: No men, just kids work and school It's a lonely way to live but I gotta do what I need to do for me and mine. I can't trust anyone else with that task.
Recently, my confidence was shaken. Very briefly though. I don't need to be accepted by the "BF" or any other nigga; I like the woman I am . BD3 said something to me a couple of weeks ago that stung. I made some delightful comments about Tyrese. He wasn't trynna hear it. He reminded me of our daughter that was chillin the chair on the floor. He then tells me she's here cause he had to give me something to do cause I was goin too fast. How diabolical is that? A nigga straight sabotaged my shit...and had the balls to admit it. I'm still in disbelif. That goes to show that 1). When a mf aint got shit, he don't want you to have shit neither and 2). Women aren't the only ones settin folks up in that baby trap. This is the reason, more than ever, why I gotta stay on my grind.
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