Good Morning Boys and Girls, today we're gonna talk about pet peeves. What are pet peeves, you ask? Pet peeves are any habit or personality trait that can get you throat punched by me. Let's explore. (In no particular order of importance)

1.) Do not call my house tomobut "Who dis??" Bitch! You called MY house. Ask for the person you want to speak to like you got some damn home training.

2). Do not call my house asking me "You at home???" Bitch! Did you just call my HOME number? I mean damn.

3). Weak bitches. Can you puhleeze remember where you left your backbone?

4). Do not, under any circumstances, blow your nose at the table. I don't care if you are finished eating. Bitch! You one naaaaaasty fucker.

5). Get a dictionary! I can't stand mfs who cannot comprehend college level vocabulary, especially if you're over 21! I am not interested in defining every other word that comes out my mouth. www.m-w.com is a good resource. Subscribe to the Word of the Day, stupid.

6). Do not include me in mass messages imploring me to "check out your new blog!!!!!" or "bloggings!!!!!!!!!" I HATE that shit. It's not a new blog if you physically didn't create a separate journal. It's a new POST in an EXISTING blog. Learn the vernacular.

7). Excessive use of the exclamation point is so 1995. Let it go. Less really is more. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! to you too, bitch.

8). Do not, under any circumstances, send me an email devoid of punctuation. I have no interest in reading a run on paragraph.

9). Do not use "pacific" as a substitute for "specific". For those of you that do this, you must be a product of inner city schools. I cannot be anymore "pacific" about my request.

10). Ladies, having a baby will NOT keep his ass. Yes, there are still "women" in 2006 that still use this logic. If anything, he'll leave your ass standin on the welfare like. Eatin swine. Trynna look fine. With your stank behind.

I will absolutely die if ya'll can tell me what song that lyric came from.

26.December.2006    06:16 AM     Commments: 21

21 comment(s) » add yours


"Ladies, having a baby will NOT keep his ass. Yes, there are still "women" in 2006 that still use this logic. If anything, he'll leave your ass standin on the welfare like. Eatin swine. Trynna look fine. With your stank behind."

I'm going to send this to my STUPID azz friend who had a baby by a MARRIED man last month. The idiot "dated" him for TWO years and still doesn't know his home phone number or physical address. Now the Cow claims to have post-partum depression.

I'm like... NO SHYT, bitch! You had a baby by a nucca you don't even know. Post-partum is the least of your issues, moron.

Sorry... I got carried away. LOL

posted by Sheron | 12.26.06 10:33 AM


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Yeeeeeees honey! Let her ass have. it.

posted by Queen | 12.26.06 04:13 PM


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I am still tryna figure out that song lyric......

posted by nova | 12.26.06 05:10 PM


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novie, all imma say ist...Tical, ticaaaaaaaal!

posted by Queen | 12.26.06 07:14 PM


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THANK YOU so much for voicing your displeasure on the 'blog' tip. I don't understand WHY people do such things.

I also don't understand WHY lameos send emails saying "check out my latest blog entry." I KNOW the link to your blog... if I want to read, I'll read. Don't TELL me what to do.

AARGH!

Anyway, great blog. I came via Nova's. Keep up the good work.

posted by solitaire | 12.26.06 10:59 PM


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lol Method Man's Biscuits - luv's your blog!

posted by blacsapphic | 12.27.06 01:18 PM


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Hey, thanks for stopping by!

Solitaire, I can't stand that either. I'm like...are you desperate for attention or what??

Blacsapphic---aaaaaaaah, you got it. I didn't think anybody would recognize it. That song was pretty obscure. Did you Google it??

[aside--since when did "Google" become a verb? /aside]

posted by Queen | 12.27.06 08:10 PM


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LOL ...no, I didn't have to 'Google' it. I'm from Staten Island and grew up listening to WuTang ...Method Man was a staple.

posted by blacsapphic | 12.28.06 08:47 AM


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This is hilarious... I hate nose blowers also... With a passion... And those people that say "Pacific" - losers...

posted by Rocka | 12.28.06 11:47 AM


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aaaaaaah, that explains it. All the DC dudes was jah like scratchin they heads and shruggin..."fuckshetombout???" Method man is STILL the guts, now that he done got all clean.

Rocka honey! nose blowers deserve to have their noses broken. That's how I see it. Don't. do. it. That's that bullshit right dere.

posted by Queen | 12.28.06 07:01 PM


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Some of your pet peeves are the same as mine.

I used to have a co-worker who burped and farted in HER cube. She never excused herself for it either. In a nice-nasty way, I asked her if she wouldn't do it. She said, "I didn't realize anyone heard me. I'm so used to doing it around my sons and husbands. I'm sorry." Eventually, our manager had enough complaints about it, he said something to her. Do you know this redneck bitch still did it!? But this time she would say outloud, "Excuse me...". She didn't do it every day, but I know it was at least once a week, and that was too much for me. I endured these sounds for about two more months before I moved to another department in a new building.

posted by Carla | 12.28.06 11:46 PM


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Why didn't they write her nasty ass up??? I"m sure there has to be some policy with a loop hole that could cover that type of stankness.

posted by Queen | 12.29.06 05:26 PM


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Gurl you know I use the !!!!! 'cuz I feel like screaming most the time. Like I want to say HEY!! DUMMY!! and really let the person reading it know that I mean in a loud, screaming, I can't stand you kind of way... hey fool use-a dummy. There is one peeve you didn't mention. Nastier than bose blowing even: coughing up phlegm at the table. I have lost my cookies at restaurants when untrained beasts start coughing like they got emphezemia, all the while trying to pass off a loogie in their cloth napkin.

Another peeve: my fellow black co-workers who live up to every stereotype out there. You're late every day. Take long lunches. Talk on your cell phone to one of your babies dads/moms loud enough for every to know he/she ain't sheeeet and you tired of him/her... then you end the call with "when am I gonna see you again?" Desperation really isn't cute. By the way, please do one of two things: 1) use better glue in the hair; or 2) get that stuff sewn in by professionals so we don't have to see threads hanging.

Gurl, I do believe you started somethin'. BTW, the used of the word "aint" was perfectly intended. *smooch*

Tra

posted by Tracye | 01.01.07 04:03 AM


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Trayce, Imma need for you to siddown...cause I just fell the hell out! Yesh, that hawkin and spittin shit is sooooooo nasty. There's a guy in my office that does that and the entire left side of the floor can hear him. All. day. long.

Altough I'm late almost everyday for work (they knew this shit when they hired me), I'm fortunate in the fact that I don't have very many ghetto coworkers. At least not the ones I have to interact with on a regular basis. There is one psycho bitch that I come close to punching in the face every time I have to interact with her. She's quite deficient.

Tra....you seem vaugely familiar. hm....

Oh yeah, aint nobody got business gluin no damn "weaves" in. That shit is tacky. Loose threads will be pulled by me.

posted by Queen | 01.01.07 06:34 PM


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Hey Kia! I haven't been by here in a hot sec! Just wanted to wish you and yours a very happy and healthy New Years!

posted by Golden | 01.01.07 09:17 PM


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I guess I shoulda said Happy New Year! What is it about the clock tickin past 11:59 one year to 12:00 am the next that is s'posed to make such a huge difference? If youse an ass in 2006, you goen be an ass in 2007. If youse a ho in '06, whatchu gon do in '07... sew ur cootch up and stop ho'ing? I've stopped taking calls 'cuz I'm sick of "Happy New Year!" on the other end of the line. I think I'll write an entry 'bout resolutions. I'll be careful not to send a message to people to read my blog 'cuz from what I gather that is a blog faux paux. I told you -- I'm learnin'.

Familiar? I wish I had met someone like you sooner. For starters, your entries have satisfied the urge for me to watch TV. Your blog is both thought provoking and hilarious. Keep it real sis! Don't change for nobody.

Tra

posted by Tracye | 01.01.07 09:59 PM


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Golden! *waves* How are ya girlie? Happy New Year to you too!

Tra--Happy New Year to you too! And no, that magic minute doesn't mean SHIT. These mfs actin like that shifting of 60 seconds is gonna change they damn lives. They still gon' be dealin with the same shit in a new year. I can't stand resolutions--I may rant about that myself.

posted by Queen | 01.02.07 05:16 PM


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You beat me to the Resolutions post. Damn you. I hate them. I hate people declaring them. I hate liars. People who make resolutions are liars.

"This year I will lose 25 lbs." Then drop the twinkie bitch. "In 2007 I will not use swear words." Bitch, stop using "swear" you cuss just like the rest of us. I only ask that when you break that resolution, you first learn proper english. I am a firm believer that you should only cuss when first you have mastered your native tongue. "I resolve to cut back on my alcohol consumption." Who cares? Why tell me about it? STFU about this at work! (Queen, 'less you want me to sing to you know what, leave me 'lone 'bout the use of (') and (!) ).

I hate resolutions. If you truly desire change, make it. Stop talking about it. Nike said it best... just do it. If you make a change, I promise to note it. If I feel up to it, I may even comment on your change provided it is both positive and deserving.

Completely off track here: why the hell won't cashiers at grocery stores make the mfs who have over 10 items go to another line. The dumb mf had well over 30 items (no bs) and the even dumber cashier just looked at me and gave me this sorta "I know you don't mind" look. Wrong bitch. I mind. I know people reading this are guilty of this. Stop it. It's rude.

Tra

posted by Tracye | 01.03.07 12:13 AM


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Depending on what hood you live in, them cashiers just might fear for their lives. In my hood, WIC vouchers can't be used in the express check out. One cashier got cussed out for telling her that. I can't stand hood bitches, however, I REALLY can't stand old hood bitches.

LMAO@ sing to you know what. Why I gotta get threatened in public? And !!!!!!!!!! to you too!

posted by Queen | 01.03.07 11:00 AM


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First let me say I love WIC. I think they should keep that around til the kids leave home. Damn hood rats. You can't get away from them no matter where you run. Neighborhood. Work. Store. Church. School. Move to a better neighborhood, then Section 8 brings 'em right to your front door.

FYI, stop frontin' like that's a threat. Somewhere down the line if there is a shortage of something else, you may perceive my threat more as a "hoped for" promise. *wink*

posted by Tracye | 01.04.07 12:45 AM


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WIC is bomb. Would be even better if you could get Fruit Loops or Cap'n Crunch with them vouchers. Honey Bunches of Oats gets real, real old. Oh, Fuck Kix. Can't stand em.

Promise, eh? You gon' get me in all typesa trouble.

posted by Queen | 01.04.07 07:11 PM


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