Good Morning Boys and Girls, today we're gonna talk about pet peeves. What are pet peeves, you ask? Pet peeves are any habit or personality trait that can get you throat punched by me. Let's explore. (In no particular order of importance)
1.) Do not call my house tomobut "Who dis??" Bitch! You called MY house. Ask for the person you want to speak to like you got some damn home training.
2). Do not call my house asking me "You at home???" Bitch! Did you just call my HOME number? I mean damn.
3). Weak bitches. Can you puhleeze remember where you left your backbone?
4). Do not, under any circumstances, blow your nose at the table. I don't care if you are finished eating. Bitch! You one naaaaaasty fucker.
5). Get a dictionary! I can't stand mfs who cannot comprehend college level vocabulary, especially if you're over 21! I am not interested in defining every other word that comes out my mouth. www.m-w.com is a good resource. Subscribe to the Word of the Day, stupid.
6). Do not include me in mass messages imploring me to "check out your new blog!!!!!" or "bloggings!!!!!!!!!" I HATE that shit. It's not a new blog if you physically didn't create a separate journal. It's a new POST in an EXISTING blog. Learn the vernacular.
7). Excessive use of the exclamation point is so 1995. Let it go. Less really is more. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! to you too, bitch.
8). Do not, under any circumstances, send me an email devoid of punctuation. I have no interest in reading a run on paragraph.
9). Do not use "pacific" as a substitute for "specific". For those of you that do this, you must be a product of inner city schools. I cannot be anymore "pacific" about my request.
10). Ladies, having a baby will NOT keep his ass. Yes, there are still "women" in 2006 that still use this logic. If anything, he'll leave your ass standin on the welfare like. Eatin swine. Trynna look fine. With your stank behind.
I will absolutely die if ya'll can tell me what song that lyric came from.
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