It's real innerestin how that God dude puts stuff in our paths. In this post I discuss how far I'll extend myself for people who well deserve it.

The good Lawd threw me a serious curve ball last Monday.

I walk into work Monday morning, business as usual. Once seated at my desk, I noticed there were two missed calls on my phone, but no voicemails. Curious, I scroll through and check the number. 702....that area code is so familiar. I Google an area code finder to look it up. Vegas. We don't have an office in Vegas.

I call my mother to have her look the number up in my phone book. It's exactly who I suspected: BD2. This nigga done some how got my work number. Unnerved, I call my attorney to ask him if he put my contact info on any of the documents filed. He also finds it strange, being that I don't speak to BD2 nor did he respond to the custody case. He asks me to keep him informed.

I send an email to BD2 and call his house. His wife answers. Apparently, they're on the verge of divorce and he doesn't live there. We exchange plesantries, nothing major. She asks to take a message; I ask her to tell him to call me.

A couple hours later she calls and tells me she got cussed out for asking why he called me. She informs me that she's changing her number and he's no longer allowed to use her phone and I should not call again. Not sure why she called to tell me that, but okay.

The next day, I receive a long superfluous about how he's lost everything with his wife and may return to the DC area. Okay, if he returns, he might be useful to my son in some fashion. If he doesn't, eh, so what. But yeah, bust this:

If things work out and I come back that way, we need to sit down and discuss a lot of things. Would you consider me staying in your garage or basement until things get better? I want to try and find a job that fits my skills best. It is hard to get a job for anything other than a waiter or valet driver in Las Vegas. I know I'm the last person you want to see, but I don't have any place else to turn.

I think he said what I think he said. This nigga just all the way asked me if he could live in my house. A man that's made a career out of livin off women. This dude who half ass takes care of his kid, expects me to open my home to him. Um, yeah. That God dude got jokes. Big time. Imma need for dude to show me where this is my prollem.

I talked to the Fix It Guy about it.

Him: Maybe he needs a place to live.
Me: So?
Him: So when is he coming?

I KNOW this mf aint suggest that I let The Great American Gigolo stay in my home, with my kids, one of which he created and doesn't support. He crazy as hell. The last thing I need is some dead weight ass nigga.

15.January.2007    07:11 PM     Commments: 6

6 comment(s) » add yours

Looks like he's tryna become Couchman #2. And its just as things are starting to be right in your spirit; DO NOT let that man in your house!!

posted by Reese | 01.16.07 11:53 AM


Heffa lookin at my computer or not, this is worthy of response. Actually questions I have but also questions to ask yourself:

1. Is your name published with your company name anywhere? (the net is an incredible research tool used be many investigators -- remember my friend who does background checks). Do you have mutual friends that may have shared the information? If that is the case, inform them that you want your personal info kept just that -- personal. Have you ever called him from your job where your number may have showed on his caller id?

2. You know I'm new to your blogs and still catchin up on the reading. . . but I assumed from your postings that you had custody of all your kids. Being that you reference a custody case, is there a reason for doing it now as opposed to when your child was a newborn? Does the Donor express an interest in sharing custody? If so, are you opposed to sharing it? (this question changes dramatically if you give in and let homeboy move in)!

3. I'm unclear on why he cussed her out, but okay. Did she get mad at you for being cussed out? Blame you? Is he leaving her for you? If so, does that stir up any emotional conflicts for you?

4. Are there safety concerns? Is the wife the ghetto type that will blame you for her husband leaving her?

5. If he has "made a career out of livin off women" do you want that influence around your son? Do you trust him around your girls? This is serious shit here.

6. Your reference to him being the Great American Gigolo leads me to believe he's pimpin'. If so, does he intend on pimpin' you? How old is he? Waiting tables and valet jobs are usually reserved for those who are fresh out of high school or have no work experience.

Fix It Guy sounds jealous. Perhaps he's making comments to test the water and see if you are remotely interested in reconnecting with BD2.

Gurl, email me. This is deep shit. Ironic as well considering the call I got a few weeks ago. The only difference is my Donors know where I work so there's no trying to figure out how he got the number. This sounds vaguely like my situation except I know my Donor has no money making abilities . . . doesn't pay for the umpteen kids he has already, so me taking him to court does nothing for me. As I've told you before, I kinda feel sorry for him. Considering life is so short, I would hate to think of wasting most of it screwed up.

2 seconds from slapping certain biotch near my desk.



posted by Tra | 01.16.07 01:04 PM


Reese--You remember Couchman! *dead* What an...experience that was. I'm finally getting myself together; I don't need ANYBODY trynna bring me down.

Tra- I'll take up a collection for bail if you have to slap said white bitch. Girl, you got a lot of questions! I'll try to answer em.

1. My company doesn't have an employee directory that's public. I have very few friends and doubt we have a mutual one. I hestiate to say we have a mutual associate, but I really don't have those either. I don't rule out the fact that we might have a mutual "friend", but I don't find it likely. I do have a suspect, but I'd hate to suspect this person. :-( I liketh her, but not everyone that smiles in your face is your friend. Hey, it is what it is. I've never called him from work because I have no reason to speak to him.

2. By default, I have custody of my kids because they live with me. Because BD2 tried to pull an okie doke over the summer, I've since decided I need something in writing.

3. I too, am unclear as to why he cussed her out. *shrugs* I don't particularly care to get wrapped up into what goes on with Bobby & Whitney. It doesn't stir up any emotional conflicts for me because....I dont' care enough to feel either way about it.

4. There's a lil ghetto in all of us. I don't know her that well so I can't say what she would or wouldn't do. She can bring some shit my way if she wants. That's all I'm sayin. She kicked him out cause she aint want him. She has to deal with the emotional aftermath.

5. His usefulness is questionable. I don't want him around me. Period. I could use a babysitter thought. That's bout all he good for.

6. I believe he's about 29 years old. I stopped counting when I stopped givin a damn. Of course he's trynna pimp me. Duh! That's like, his thing. You know how these niggas do: make you feel all sorry for em n shit, appeal to your pathos and whatnot. Um, fuck him. Whether or not he has a roof over his head aint my prollem. I hustle and grind to hold my shit down. He can do the same. And if he has to take a job as a waiter or valet driver to do that, then so be it.

7. The Fix It Guy swears to the Almighty that he don't get jealous. I'm not gonna spend my time trynna figure it out.

On a personal level, I don't feel anything for the BDs. Love nor hate, I'm quite apathetic to their existence. On a parental level, I have no respect for them. They have too many excuses as to why they can't raise and provide for their children.

posted by Queen | 01.16.07 07:01 PM


Damn. On most every count, damn. You seemingly have your hands quite full. You need a vacation from bullshit. Re the suspect, that's why I keep dem hoes at a distance. I have very few friends on purpose. If I was up to calling every skinning and grinning bitch my friend, I'd have plenty.

It's good you have a good handle on your personal feelings. I can't tell you how many stories I hear 'bout baby mamas who don't have any self esteem and fall for just about every damn trick in the book. We as women -- African American women need to be smarter than this.

If he tried somethin this past summer, okie doke, as you refer to it, does that mean he has an interest in assuming responsibility? If so, why didn't he respond to the custody case? That's odd. If there is a Bobby/Whitney situation, it's possible he doesn't know about it. You may want to see if he ever got the papers. Wifeys and *girl*friends can be malicious when they feel threatened. I'm not sure about this, but I think if someone is sued in court and the defendant doesn't respond, that's as good as giving the plaintiff an automatic win. If that is the case, this works out for you. On the other hand, if he never got those papers, it's possible he can get an attorney to fight that -- oops! that implies he has money to pay for one. My bad.

LOL on the "lot of questions." I am a very analytical person. Things have to make sense to me. That is probably why these bitches on the job can't stand my ass. I ask a million questions about their work product (of course exposing their incompetency). FYI, that same white bitch who can't keep her eyes off my computer during the work day fawked up orders for 3 of her 7 districts!! Had it been me, I'd be an unemployed nigstah today. She poo-poo'd it off as a data entry problem that (er'y time she hit enter, a # sign was inserted instead). That's the dumbest ass excuse I ever heard. We've got white bosses. White co-workers. White I.T. department. White risk management. She's got her ducks lined up and they ALL got her back. Fucker . . . or Fuck Her.


Please please please friends of Queen -- get started on the bail money.

posted by Tra | 01.16.07 08:15 PM


I wish like hell my insubordinate baby daddy would ask me some shit like that...I'd have to slap the whites out that nigga's eyes. Lord have mercy, I cant even believe that dude would fix his brain to even think some shit like that when he dont even take care of his kid! I guess he feel like you his baby mamma so thats a fraction of your problem...pshhh!! fuck outta here with that! I cant stand no triflin az nigga...dam.

posted by Tee2 | 01.19.07 10:48 AM


Tee---What I've noticed with both baby mommas and baby daddies is that they have the misconception that they are obligated to each other on a personal level, which is not the case. Unless, of course, they have some kind of friendship. That's on them.

He crazy as hell to even think I'd be cool with some shit like that. I dont see why I should be his support system.

posted by Queen | 01.19.07 07:06 PM


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