2008 had a strange begining but I'm trying to keep my faith and optimism very high. I'm a firm believer in the whole "everything happens for a reason" thing, even if the reason isn't quite so obvious.
"Gotta grind harder cause my bills is major..." This job thing aint presentin itself fast enough. I got two weeks before shit gets real dire. I'm on my grind hard, but other mfs is movin too slow. I had a temp assignment today that went well. The HR Lady was real cool; I doubt she was any older than me. She's trynna get me in to be interviewed for a position she's recruiting for. I noticed she had several interviews today and asked what the deal was. She gave me the story and looked at my resume. After reviewing my resume, she came back to the front and looked at me all crazy like...."why are you doing this monkey work?" It's just something to keep the money coming in, no matter how extremely over qualified I am. I still gotta provide for mine.
Activity is picking up. I'm getting a lot more calls now. That makes me feel a lot better, given the semi depressive state I was in yesterday. I don't want that to set in so I'm doin my best to keep it movin. I have a good prospect in Columbia, MD that I think is going to work out just fine. I also have a couple of good friends who have been very supportive of me (as usual) during this transition.
While on my temp assignment, I was able to reconnect with an old friend over AIM. He and I have such an explosive chemistry, it's scary. We spent time together briefly two years ago, but I had to pump the brakes on that. He's married. While that isn't a big deal to some, it is to me.
Now I'm not the most moral bitch; I've done my share of dirt. What bothers me about this situation is that this man stood before God and made promises, of which he is now choosing to break and wants me to be his accomplice. I have enough problems--I don't need to end up on the "Smite Now" list. I also believe in karma: that shit you shit, eventually, you'll sniff. Now that's real.
Conversely, he offers the intimacy and friendship my current involvement doesn't. He understands me and what I need. He acknowledges my individuality. He calls me out on my shit but doesn't make me feel defensive. He's the straight male version of my bestfriend. LOL. How'd that happen?
I do believe that he was brought into my life (as with most situations) for a reason. He is part of the evolution of me. This situation has a lesson to offer; I have to keep a level head and sound judgment in order to receive it.« ... now bounce.
The end of the first week of the new year has finally arrived. It's been a tough week for me--trying to keep everything in perspective and whatnot.
I've been feeling frustrated at work for the past few months: not paid enough and do more than my share. I'm constantly doing other people's work but I guess that's the nature of being employed. I try not to make my displeasure apparent. I don't like to worry my teammates. They have enough pressures, although they know when I'm displeased and go out of their way to make me feel better. For these reasons, I love them. Even the rouge that works my nerves. LOL. My work situation isn't the best, but I'm making the best of it.
Lately, I've been coddling an internal battle which I've been consumed with for about two weeks. I chalk it up as part of the growth process, but that doesn't make me feel much better. Last Friday when I was at my peak of discontent, I crossed paths with an old co-worker. She caught my attention right before I was able to get in good with the Nintendo DS. As I'm looking around to figure out who had the kajonies to interrupt me while I'm playing Mario, our eyes locked. Looking into her eyes made me smile. Her eyes are so clear, you can see clear to her soul. I told her about my new boss and how I don't feel we're a good fit for each other. She said to me: "Sometimes things just don't work out. It's not anything you did or what she did. The chemistry isn't there"
The last statement was so simple. So obvious. So true.
I've been placed in this situation for a reason; though I have yet to figure out what that reason is. Maybe it isn't for me to know right now. I can't say I'm patiently waiting to find out either.