This is the second time I woke up this morning to go to the bathroom. I can't go back to sleep. I have enough quiet at 4am to haer myself think--think about things I can't discuss with anybody. Sometimes it's disturbing, this aloneness with my thoughts. There's no escape from what I really think or what I really feel. Sometimes honesty is overwhelming.

I hope the Lord can forgive me for what's on my mind and what I'm ready to do.

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