I've learned to adapt to the dual mother/father role I've had to fulfil since the birth of my oldest child. This process was difficult to mitigate in conjunction with my own growing pains. How am I supposed to learn to be a woman and a man? What a confusing and painful time period in my life and I can't say it's become any easier 15 years later.

I'm not intrinsically male nor do I have the desire to be such. I do, however, have basic character fundemantals that surpasses what many natural born males have to offer. This saddens me. I shouldn't have to be a man for a man and this abnormality shouldn't be the expectation. Until I find a man who meets my standards of manhood...I guess I should become comfortable with spinstserhood.

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